Today...
My solo experience
Im still crying now :(
I've not been eating properly the past few days
I got no mood, no appetite
I was at JurongEast Interchange (A Train Station)
Waiting for MRT (Thats what we call a train in Singapore)
So an empty train came
So I ran in and sit
Immediately when I sit down
My whole body felt like it was shrinking
So BLOODY painful
Like the cells inside shrinking
Had troubles breathing
So...
I closed my eyes and endured the pain
My head started to go VERY dizzy
My ears can hear only ringing noises
I was TOTALLY freaking out
So, I tried to open my eyes
I can feel my eyes opening
but I cannot see anything
It was pitch black
Like when you close your eyes to sleep
I was in a dead/blind state
Like in a World Of My Own
I seriously thought I was going to die
But I was still awake
It really got me traumatised then
And my whole head was like going to burst
My body like shrinking from the inside
Pain was just so unbearable
I was like wanting to cry
Cause I SO scared that I cannot see a thing
But I cannot cry
Donno why
Then I said out loud in the train
Can anyone help me...
The lady beside me answered I think
But I cannot hear anything much
Damn scary
I was freaking out more by then
Then I knew i had to calm down
And soon enough I could hear a TINY bit of voice
But I cannot keep myself calm after that
I keep screaming and shouting
I cannot see I cannot see
I cannot hear I cannot hear
I panicked again
Screaming like nuts
Then the lady beside me pat on me and said to my ear
Are you alrite? Where are you alighting
I said Boon Lay interchange (A train station where I'm suppose to alight)
Then reached Boon Lay interchange
I can feel one whole bunch of people helping me to guide me out
I was literally blind
Cannot see a single THING
So they brought me to sit down
And then the train officials came to bring me down in a wheelchair
Cause I can feel I was being rolled
By then
I could see A tiny BIT
But all in greyish-black
Cant see colours
I was feaking out once again when I cannot see the colours
I thought I was going to be blind or colourless
Then I rested in this room
And soon, I was able to move my fingers again and ate something
But I begin to shake and tremble
The train officer wanted to call ambulance
I keep saying I dont want
Rested some more
At about 6pm(I THINK) I was able to walk slowly
I swear that was the MOST freakiest and traumatising day for my life
Im still crying like shit now
I feel so crappy now
Its cause Ive not been eating properly these days
No energy FOR BODY TO FUNCTION PROPERLY
I learn my lesson the HARD way
It will definitely take some time for me to get over this
And now im just thankful to be alive , able to see, hear and talk
