||»яєєvєs«||

Seasons Of Emotions

2009-11-03T00:28:00.001+08:00

In the springtime those memories ~~start to fade~~.
With the April rain.
Through the summer days.

Till ~~autumn leaves are gone~~.
I get by without you.
Till the snow begins to fall.

Apprehensive Me

2009-10-23T21:43:00.007+08:00

3 weeks of school passed. My grades are slowly getting better. (: The SAME pattern of grades as the last 3 Semesters. How predictable. xD Hmm, I'm begining to reconsider if I should pick up Scenic and Costume Design as an elective module next year. DTA Modules are hard. =( Plus, my Portfolio Proposal kena rejected. Comments given was that it's better that I stay away from Fashion Design Portfolio as RP doesn't offer that as a module. =P I'm thinking about focusing on Character Illustrations now. Sighs, lucky got a brief backup plan. Haha. =) Now just have to brush up on my drawing skills. =O

Anyway, I cut my hair today. Not everything short. Just the sides and back. It feels better, but don't look better. xD The mirror said so. =O So, when I reached home and change my MSN Status on Online, my cousins wanted to Webcam with me. xD Like talk about nice timing. I was only about to do my RJ. Haha. Damn. SO yeah, talked to the 3 of them. Then went to do RJ. Today's RJ Question was, Name a style of theatre you would best like to design for and why?. Oh how I love this RJ qn. (: I talked about Broadway Musicals. Cats, Fame, Phantom Of the Opera, Les Miserables, Hairspray. EPIC! (: Love them. :D

My Cousins. From Left to Right: Haris, Fikri and Sarah. (:

S.I.C.K

2009-10-15T00:10:00.003+08:00

I'm SICK. It sucks. I want to recover.

I'd rather be with you but you never tried to holla.
We could spend a couple milly ~~acting silly in Milano~~.
Boy hit your horn BEEP BEEP, I'll follow.
Have your whip in driveway by tomorrow.

Secretly, I know you want to ~~hit it like the lotto~~.
And after that, we can ketchup like tomato.
We can make love in Italy in the grotto.
Fresh off the jet at the met, they screaming bravo.

Simply Impelling

2009-10-08T22:45:00.006+08:00

4 days passed, drawing close to the end of Week 1 in school. My new class isn't bad at all. It's kinda nice and I like it. (: I guess of the people there are friendly. (: And there's not much of those, you-know-awkward-silent-moments in this class. Lessons have been okay. Presentations are mostly on paper work. Production Design tomorrow. Doing mood boards at the Lab. Kinda looking forward to it I guess. (:

Btw, Me and Sue did some garment using jeans and old shirts which I dyed pink and purple. It's for some god damn competition held and we're supposed to use old materials and recycle them in a way. And Juli was willing enough to help model the look. :P Awesomeness. The look does need some polishing up though. Oh, and yeah.... it might look a tad(maybe a lot) like some plastic barbie doll outfit. Lols. xD IDK.

Neoteric

2009-10-01T20:52:00.004+08:00

So, it's been ages since I last updated this blog. Life's been good lately. (: Hopefully, it will continue and just get better. (: Got results today. Very very happy regarding my results. (: Hard work does pay off kays. xP Next Sem... have 5 modules. Sigh, will be busier. x3 Need to go buy a few things before Semester Starts. :O Toolkit items for Production Design Module and perhaps a Cooling Fan for my laptop. It keep's over heating nowadays. Grrrr. Anyway, bought a new bag and wallet during the holidays. Haha. So, my green sling bag and my old wallet can now retire nicely in my cupboard. xD Well, maybe I'll still use that sling bag. xD I can never part with it. Haha. :P Been using it since Secondary School. Haha. :P I need to get one more pair of shoes. Yeah, one more pair. xD Though I have more than plenty already, I just want one more. Haha. xD Doubt I will be wearing that white leather "slippers" nowadays since need to wear covered shoes now. :O Next Sem class should be Interesting once more. (: Same class with WenKun, Nabs, Jamal, Carmen and XueYing. Hahaha. The diff types of people in same class. :3 Awesome-ness... Can't wait, just waiting for more info to be released soon, like lesson timings. :P Hopefully, shorter hours this Sem. Haha. I can wish right? xD

Funny Huh?

2009-09-10T16:43:00.002+08:00

Wanted:
A tall, well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frog
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classical music and tal-
king without getting too serious.

*Now try reading lines 1,3 and 5 only.
This is JUST for laughs. I am not SEEKING any women with good legs or what not. AHAHAHA. XD

*Plus I baked Cookies today. Ahhh, yum yum. (:

Repugnance

2009-09-08T16:40:00.001+08:00

I was naive.
Your love was like candy.
Artificially sweet.
I was deceived by the wrapping.

Got caught in your web.
And I learned how to bleed.
I was prey in your bed.
And devoured completely.

Oh, I'm about to break.
I can't stop this ache.
I'm addicted to your allure.
And I'm finding for a cure.

Every step I take.
Leads to one mistake.
Getting nothing in return.
What did I do to deserve.

The pain of this slow burn.
And everywhere I turn.
And it hurts my soul.
Cause I can't let go.

All these walls are caving in.
I can't stop my suffering.
Everytime I try to grasp for air.
I am smothered in despair.
Seems I never wake from this nightmare.

I hate to show that I've lost control.
Cause I, I keep going right back,
To the one thing that I need to walk away from.
I let out a silent prayer, let it be over...

Home Sweet Home

2009-09-05T12:21:00.001+08:00

Went to watch proposal on Wednesday with Hannah, Syidah, Shu Hui, Si Min and Nic. Hmm, forgot to bring Si Min's present. Stupid rite. x.X Ehhh, Friday went back to HP SC and collect back my laptop. It's WORKING now. Whoo-hoo. But spent the whole day yesterday downloading a lot of things. MSN, FF, Add On's, and many more to list. XD It's so nice to be able to be using the laptop and watching tv at the same time in my room. :P Wazzah! Yeah, seems like I am a weapon of massive consumption. XD But it's not my fault, it's how I'm programmed to function. :P Lols. Anyway, going back to school next week to reconfigure my laptop back again and install all the CS4 Programmes. Sianz. I miss you my photoshop. :(

You found me on my knees.
Next thing you're saying ~~"tease"~~.
I'm trying to find my phone and my keys.
Not your sleaze.

Your spell is like a ~~curse~~.
You just wanna flirt. (\/)

Mocking Ignorantly

2009-08-23T12:47:00.002+08:00

It's been a while since I last updated. The last week of classes were pretty fun I guess. Creative Concepts, designed a Restaurant. We based on idea on Willy Wonka. Kaboom! DMA: Presented Portfolio. HOA: Polaris Panels For Reflections 2009. Art Critic: Analyse Music Videos. Not Bad I guess. 2 more UT's to go... Art Critic and DMA. I'm not worrying so much for Art Critic but DMA... I'm cracking. =X After these UT's, I'll be free. :D For a while at least. :P Actually, technically, not really. Need to come back and stay back on Tues and Weds to do the Palaris Panels. But should be fun. Haha. Good days ahead hopefully. (:

Oh, I want to say this once and for all to YOU. You know who you are Mister: I truly wanted solidarity. I'm still wearing my blinders back then. I weep for what I dreamed we all could be. I'll keep you in prayer till the end. Though, still bruised, still walk on eggshells. Same frightened child, hide to protect myself. But you can't manipulate me like before.

If my shows of gratitude are minuscule… Inside your mind, sorry there's only so much I can do. I love you and did all that I could. So, no weapon formed against me shall prosper. I will trust and not be afraid. Do good to those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you. I believe that things will turn out well, as always…

I've been warned, I know. I've been told, yes for sure. I've heard of all them sagas. That you're one big Mr Drama. Nothing like any other mamas. I guess over time, subconsciously I knew. That it's coming true. But I keep fronting. And now the hating. So, thanks for nothing. (: C-R-U-I-S-I-N-G on... :D

Art Critic Mah-Jong Paper Presentation.
I think I like this best out of all those that was done this Sem. :P

This is the Polaris Panel. 8foot by 4 foot. That's TALLER than me. :P
Was a class effort. :D *claps* But got to touch up and finalize it soon.

Up-Lifting

2009-08-16T23:23:00.000+08:00

Went to watch Up yesterday. Uhhh, so nice. So Nice. A very nice story I feel. Some very unexpected and touching scenes. (: Won't say much, watch it for yourself is all I can say. (: Other than that, 2 more DAYS left for classes. WHoo hoo. Means 2 more final RJ's. SO happy. :P Cause I am slowly getting annoyed by all the RJ's everyday. Left one History of the Arts class tomorrow and Art Critic and Analysis Class on Tuesday. Can't wait to get over with classes. However, the sad thing is UT 3 is coming up after the last 2 classes. Urghs. So scared of it. *FOR REAL, NO SARCASM HERE* LOLS! I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY got to start with revision. So much to study I feel. Technical stuffs, facts, and lots more to revise. Ayyy. Very scared for History of the Arts. My weakest out of the 4. Gosh. Must do something about it. Hopefully, I'll do well this Semester. (:

Time's Up

2009-08-13T20:49:00.000+08:00

I'm getting off my stage.
The curtains pull away.
No hyper bowl to hide behind.
My ~~naked~~ soul exposes.

Complexity

2009-08-11T22:31:00.002+08:00

Relationships are like flying kites I should say... You pull the string too much/too fast, it snaps and breaks off. Your little kite will fly away. But if you let go too much, it will never even take flight. Talk about how people always mention about "looking for that special someone with similar interests, passions, character, etc". Again, sometimes... just like the principle regarding magnets... like-poles simply repel. Like you put 2 dominant people in a team, it will be very hard to work things out. My question is, how do you strike for the perfect balance? How do you know if that is truly the Mr/Miss Right you are looking for. Or is love just a bunch of complex, complicated and confusing ideas that was never meant to be understood by humanity. So now, can the heart truly SPEAK for itself? (:

The Numerical Language

2009-08-04T23:22:00.002+08:00

1 day I go 2 climb a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rushed out and wanted to 5 with me. I ran until I fell 6 and threw up. So I go into 7-eleven and grabbed some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab at him. 10 God he run away.

10 I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7-eleven. Next day I called my boss and told him I was 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asked me to go climb a 3 and jump down! I don’t understand. I am so nice 2 him but I don’t know what he 1.

Funny OR Lame? You Decide. (:

*BTW, it's not written by me. :P I've got better things to do than composing this few paragraphs. xD That explains why I haven't been updating much lately too.

It's Gonna Explode

2009-07-20T22:02:00.005+08:00

What shit man. My sms's gonna burst this week. You know I'm not the type who sms's every now and then. Now...111 mails in my sentbox already. Shoots. :o Anyway, that aside... everything is all ~~good~~. It's hard to say what is good or not because what was good also caused some bad consequences which upset me. I got no mood to type many words. Plus tomorrow got History Of The Arts UT at 4pm. Eiik. Better go read up on 6P's and Resources. :o

He's magic and myth,
As strong as what I believe.
A ~~tragedy~~ with,
More damage than a soul should see.

101th Post

2009-07-17T22:30:00.006+08:00

Ahhh, 101th Post, and it's not a happy post. I'll just post a video. I don't want to start pouring here.

STILL I"M DYING WITH EVERY STEP I TAKE ~~but i don't look back~~.
[i got to do what's best for myself]

Sobs

2009-07-15T22:01:00.001+08:00

B I P O L A R
disorder
*sighs*

my mood swings today... think he's mad at me x.x got to hold on...

Smooth Sailing

2009-07-13T23:57:00.004+08:00

Omg, this week has gone sooo smoothly. :3 IDK, I just feel all good now. Grades have been a pleasant thing to see this week. xD I just want History Of The Arts UT Grade to just be uploaded. x.x Me wanna see what I got for that one. For the other 3 UT's I did well and I am happy about it. :)

Today, had UT. o.o Didn't study. But still could do it since 1.I paid attention in class, 2.The test was sort of based on common sense too. Like the first question was to think of 4 creative uses of the normal, ordinary plastic bag. I skipped that question first immediately and went on with the others. xD Gave my brain some time to think about it which I work on the other questions. Haha. Other than that, the other questions were still doable and manageable.

Plus, layout updated. Sorry took ages to code since I'm soo lazy. xD

I mention you when I say my prayers.
I ~~wrap you around all~~ of my thoughts.
Boy you're my temporary high.

I wish that when I wake up you're there.
To wrap your arms around me for real.
And tell me you'll stay by my side.

Just The Exterior

2009-07-01T23:24:00.004+08:00

Wazzah, been a week or so. :3 Arghs, just so lazy to blog these days since I'm caught up with school and would be too tired to blog at home after school. Today's the 1st July. :3 Hehehe, I'm supposed to be happy but sigh, its been the same for every beginning of the month. The distance just kills me. I got my explain further what this is all about. It's not like I'm gonna tell the whole world. xD Bwahahahaha!

Anyway, a lot of things happen during the past few weeks. I'll just post the *erms* "most memorable day". It was last Wednesday. During class we had to do something with this averagely size cardboard box and "creatively" find another purpose or function we can think and create using that box. Thinking OUT of the box but still using a box. Irony? Ahahaha. :3 Anyway, so usually I take my group works home. :3 Was deciding if I should carry this box bag home since no other team brought theirs back. All went to pay a visit to the rubbish bin. xD But I took mine home and stuffed all the art materials in the box. :3 Convenient Purposes. But, that soon changed, not that convenient carry a box on the public transport which has got contents inside that makes loads of noises when shacked. x.x And after I tapped my card and was about to get on the escalator to get on the MRT, I was STOPPED by one of the MRT Personnel. x.x Asked me whats in the box, WTF. It art stuff, not BOMB. -.- Then in the MRT, a lot of ppl stared at me. Aiyooo. So paiseh. x.x

Ahaha, that's about it for last week. :3 Talking about exterior looks, I'm currently coding a new layout. Eiiks, due to busy schedule... would be changed in a FEW more days. Haha. :P

Again and again.

2009-06-22T23:52:00.008+08:00

I'm just going to make this short. x.x

First time's a close call.
Second time happened today.
But somehow I got away with it.
What will the 3rd time be?

I need to be more observant and careful.
Not to give away hints too easily. x.x
I just fear what happens if more ppl know. =.=

*PFFT*

Let Me Go Home

2009-06-16T23:33:00.006+08:00

Whooo, its been a while since I last updated. Let me see, holidays are over. Back to school all the way till Week 15. x.x That's gonna be darn long. Went out to celebrate Nana's BDay on Friday. Went Bugis and watched movie and walked. Movie was nice. (: Been a while since I last watched movie in the cinemas. Haha. Syidah still asked me, when we first met, why we all bring jackets etc. x.x Lols. Now you know. xD Anyway, then walked around and got to see Si Min's BF. Haha. I'll keep my comments to myself. :K Anyway, today is Tuesday. Well, there was no lesson for me. Unfortunately, there was UT today. x.x Urghs. Had to go to school at 4 just to take a 45mins test. -.- evermind that, it was kinda a tough paper but do-able I believe. If I had studied more and had revision earlier. Couldn't really complete 2 questions due to time constrain. I think 9 marks gone? :o Crap. Then went downstairs to meet Lynette and go home. Guess who I saw. Haha... Si Min and her bf again. Lulz :3 Anyway, there's school tomorrow. But I'm really looking forward to it. (: After all, who can hate Creative Concept's Lessons. They're nice ok. =P Will update more over time.

Every man has a place,
In his heart there's a space,
And the world can't erase his fantasies.

Every thought is a dream,
Rushing by in a stream,
Bringing life to the kingdom of doing.

And as you stay for the play,
Fantasy, has ~~in store~~ for you.
A glowing light will see you through.

Loving life, a new decree,
Bring your mind to everlasting LIBERTY.

You will find, other kind,
That has been in search of you.
Many lives has brought you to,
Recognize it's your life, ~~now in review~~.

As you glide, in your stride.
With the wind, as you fly away.
Give a smile, from your ~~lips~~, and say,
I am free, yes I'm free, now I'm on my way.

And we will live together,
Until the twelfth of never.

*My heart wants to be somewhere else. I ask myself where is HOME now.

Fashion Forward

2009-05-28T00:11:00.004+08:00

Wowers. Today is by far the best lesson I had. xP Cause its about fashion. D'oh. Suppose to study about the culture and society in Singapore and reflect that to create a costume for Miss Singapore. Hahaha. My team team stepped aside from the boring traditional looks and gave something very modern looking inspired by the fast paced society and the technology savvy people here. :P The skirt so 3D and structured due to the esplanade inspiration. And the top so very "drapy". Contrasting ehh. :3 IDK. Kinda like it. Anyway, today stayed behind class till kinda late cause no one to meet up and rush to go home. Haha. So slacked and let time pass by. Anyway, drew a lot of "stuffs" on my coloured papers with chalk. :o When was the last time YOU used chalk. Haha. So fun but got all messy and dirty. :3 Eiiik. I havent do RJ. Better go do now. Byez

The drawing of the dress just now in class.
Too lazy to upload the symbolic meaning behind each idea.
There is the star, draped top and the 3D shaped bottom.

Drew this after school.
Had no idea what to do actually. xD
Lynnie understood the whole thing in like 1sec. :o

The last drawing before I leave class.
This is what you get when you have a bored artist.
Hahaha. xD

MSN Convo's

2009-05-23T21:34:00.009+08:00

Ahhh, was supposed to update yesterday night about Friday's Lesson in class. But so lazy and tired siah. Anyway, Friday's Lesson was boring in a way. But then my team had an "interesting" conversation with Si Min. So, it started out with Carmen who saw SiMin's MSN pop up from my laptop. Then she pinpointed that she know SiMin. I'm like oh wow. o.o Didn't see that coming. So, then had a convo with SiMin, Carmen and me. Then added Ilyana and I asked SiMin about that quiz which I still can't solve till today. So, throughout the whole 1st Study Period, Carmen was busy trying to solve that quiz thing. xD I gave up liaos. Just waiting for some kind soul to drop me the answers. Then, SiMin was suppose to leave the conversation and I added Matthaeus in to start a team conversation. SiMin didn't leave and was still stuck. And then the fun begins. xD IDK, I think Carmen was the one who started match-making SiMin and Matt. Ahahaha xD And it went on and on. Aiyaaa, I'll just let pictures say the remaining thousand words of what happened. So lazy to type out. Click on the URL Links below each picture if you want to view the actually size of the image. Anyway, the whole thing was for fun and laughter. No hard feelings ya Matt/SiMin? x3

http://i43.tinypic.com/2iualhf.png

http://i44.tinypic.com/148nc4z.jpg

http://i44.tinypic.com/311qixc.png

*Extra: To my neofriends who's been anxiously itching for me to revamp my whole InVogue Site... yea yea I'm in the process of it. A bit more time please. (: Still got a lot more pages to code and image urls to add in. Sneak Peak? Ok fine. Look below. Just STOP asking me when I will be done coding. x.x Thanks ya.

http://i40.tinypic.com/syl6qd.png

How Should I Say This...

2009-05-21T22:14:00.005+08:00

Well now a thousand days

And thousand nights

Are not enough

Cause I can't hold back

The way I feel

About my love

And if the angels came

I'd fight them back

To win your soul

And when everything

Was said and done

They'd go back home

And they ought to know

They ought to know

That you're mine, all mine...

Lazy Man

2009-05-21T00:14:00.006+08:00

Arghs. Just been so lazy to update lately. Had my first Understand Test on Tuesday. I had to go to school at 4pm till 4.45 just for ONE TEST. -.- How I dreaded that day man. Ahhh, and I've been wearing shoes to school. Oh mann. I hate it x.x But, whatever finally those fucking many pairs of shoes that are on the racks are being put to good use after years rotting there. =3 It would be nice to wear different shoes everyday. Bwahahaha xD Oh yeah, and did I say that my old MSN account got hacked into? -.- IDK which idiot it is but apparently he/she is getting into my old MSN Account and scolding people off. Urghs, it isn't me and I don't understand why people are so mad at me thinking I'm playing some cheeky trick on them. Come on, its been ages since I went on that Email Account and I don't have the time to scold people vulgar words with nothing better to do. Just so everyone knows, it ISN'T ME. Lets get that clarified once and for all. Ignore that idiot/jerk/bitch. Some people really need to get a life. Anyway, I'm tired. That's all for today. Nites.

When I turn the ~~lights out~~

When I close my eyes

Reality overcomes me

I'm living a lie

[ I just want you here rite now. =/ ]

American Idol

2009-05-17T23:18:00.002+08:00

Yeah. Yeah. I know I have not been updating recently. Anyway, hmm nothing to blog about or just being plain lazy. Hehe. Well, I was kinda upset by the recent News on the Final 2 Contestants. Adam and Kris left to compete. Urghs. Why did Mr Gokey had to go. Booo. First Jasmine, then Alexis, then Alison, and now Danny. -.- Urghs. All my favorites are out. Left only one, Kris. Oh please let him win. x.x Oh, and also Nigel Lythgoe is no longer the Executive Producer, so he's spilling so many dirty little secrets. Hahaha. As quoted by him...

"It doesn't mean the show won't take some liberty with the order that the other two low-vote receiving contestants are told to sit down, he says...

Since "Idol" never specifically states who the second and third lowest vote getters are, any conclusions that the audience draws from the order that they're sent to the safe stand is purely "up to the public at home."

This means that probably the week whereby Adam got bottom 2 was only to scare American to vote for him more. -.- What a total BULLSHIT and RipOFF. I mean come on... the show is becoming more ridiculous over time trying to "promote" Mr Adam. Last week, Simon literally stated out and asked people to Vote for Adam. And on that same week, Katy Perry wore a cape at the beginning with Adam's name on it. It was red words on a white cape. How obvious was that? -.- Fair much to the other contestants? I mean yeah, she can have her opinion on who she hopes to win in the competition but I don't think the producers should allow such things to happen. And before the performance Dany commented he wanted to get straight to the results and Adam blurted "But I want to see Katy Perry..." Fishy much? o.o

And think about it, has the judges agreed as a whole disliked on any of Adam's performances? His worse performance to me was the country theme one? The one when he sang Ring Of Fire I think with that freaking weird twist. -.- And 3/4 Judges "kinda liked that strange rendition"! WTF. So, he's the one and one guy in Idol History that has nailed EVERY single performance? Bull Shit. Judges are just praising him like there's no tomorrow. I don't want to sound all Anti-Adam but I mean, what happened to the fairness in the competition. So, I'm just hoping for another HUGE upset like last year when David Archuleta lost, or when Jennifer Hudson got eliminated, or like when Clay Aiken lost to Ruben Studdard.

I'm just hoping for all these to happen. And the faces on the 4 judges will be PRICELESS. =D

Just Draw

2009-05-10T23:59:00.002+08:00

Okay... So on Saturday, went to granpa's house. Nothing to do there. Then my Hp batt went low. Grrrr. No songs. So I went into the room, grabbed some papers and borrowed my younger cousin's markers. Hahaha. xD So we sat there for hours doing nothing but DRAW. Haha. Really nothing to do... Then went home at about 8pm and watched Over The Hedge on tv. Haha. Such cute animals. xD I love the 3 baby porcupines? Or whatever those creatures were. xD Hehehe. On Sunday woke up, felt very sick. Was supposed to go to granny's house on my mum's side on that day. But I stayed home... and slept. xD Till about 6pm? Then went to kitchen to find food. :P Nothing much. Went to on TV and watched Charlie and The Chocolate Factory for the god-knows-how-many times. Now, going to bed. Tomorrow got school. -.-

Fikri drew this. Haha. See the "floating houses" on water?
It was supposed to be the Water Chalets we went last year. xD

Sarah drew this. It was all... erms... so rainbow-ish. :P
Ohh, and did I say she crumpled the paper for that "rough effect".

Obviously, that was mine. Don't know what to draw.
So I scribbled words on the background. xD

Sob Sob

2009-05-07T21:33:00.005+08:00

Sore Throat getting worse I suppose. Sighs. But I passed the Thermal Scan shit thingy today. Haha. Today lesson was fun. Hehehe. Photoshop, most probably is fun. xD Tomorrow history of the arts. Urghs. I just hope its nothing music. x.x Had enough of that last week. Ahhh, got to go back and redo my Photoshop Poster and resubmit soon. Ohhh, tomorrow going to skool alone. Sob Sob. Oh well, like it really matters to me. xD

I coloured you a Valentine.
Struggled just to stay inside the lines.
~~Lose~~ my mind...

Bad Day

2009-05-06T20:46:00.011+08:00

Ouhhh. Today is such a bad day. x.x To begin things with, it rained in the morning and when I was going to leave house, I could not open any of the small umbrella's. Urghs. So had to walk in the rain. -.- So, nevermind that... Went to 7-11 hoping to buy something to eat for breakfast. Prolly something that I have appetite for since I had a sore throat. I went around that 7-11, was annoyed and left the shop with a packet of Strepsils only. x.x What a breakfast. Hmm, so went to school as usual and then there was this ThermoScanner thingy which can detect people who are "hot". As in temperature. -.- Shu Hui passed. I didnt. Urgs. So I had to go to the side and take my temperature. Reading was 36.5 degrees. Wows. -.- So I was released back to the line and went again. The 2nd time I walked pass that thing, again got singled out. -.- Didn't pass again. WTH. Ok, nevermind that. They told me to sit down and REST. Im like uhhh? o.o Then fine. Called Shu Hui to go up first instead of waiting cause I had a feeling it was going to be very long. -.- So, after a while, I got released back into the line again, 3rd time... AGAIN didn't pass. WTH. Was so mad already... Then I keep telling the person that I'm not having a fever or what not shit. He was so irritated and just let me off. xD Ahaha. But yeah, I didn't have fever, Prolly cause I had a sore throat only and my head was hot? IDK xD Ahhh, lets just say that was the start of my day and many more bad things happen after that. Urghs. Tomorrow better be better. xD

Rolling up to the club on the weekend.
Styling out to the beat that you're freakin.
Fantasize the track that you're tweakin.
BLOW MY HEART UP.
♥ Jαymz

No School

2009-05-05T19:37:00.001+08:00

I feel so sick today. Sore Throat and Im Coughing like crap. x.x All that to that Cookies N Cream I had yesterday in school. Thank god I have no classes today. Tomorrow classes shall resume. Can't wait! xP I love Creative Concept Classes. IDK, they are just F-U-N. Hehehe xP Okay. Gtg rest. Im out.

X-Men

2009-05-03T21:43:00.004+08:00

Uhhh. My favorite!!! (: Anyway, I watched "The Last Stand" with Hannah in the cinema 3 years ago (2006). I remember after the movie we were talking so much about what may happens. Simply because of 2 scenes.

1. Xavier being alive still after The Pheonix "killed" him and that mysterious women named Moira.
2. Magneto whom seemed like had lost his powers during the battle and later on able to "wobble" the chess piece at one of the ending scenes.

Hehe. Today, Channel 5 played the show again and I finally got the answers to these 2 questions thats been burning in my body/heart for the past 3 years. x) Hannah... listen up! lols. Well, that Moira lady is one of the characters in X-Men. Well. D-uh. xD If you notice carefully in the movie, there was a scene when Xavier was teaching the kids in the mansion about mutant ethics and he played this video. In the video there was this lady/nurse with the patient at the back. THAT lady was Moira. And at the memorial ceremony, if you noticed closely, you can see Moira sitting next to the Beast Man thing aka Fur Ball or whatever it is that made Hannah laughed so loud in the movies. *Hides Face* Anyway... back to topic. In simple terms, Moira is a lady who was close to Xavier and she's is very knowledgeable in the field of genetics and mutation.

Now about Xavier? He is alive. He never died. Remember during that class he taught the students about mutant ethics and about transferring your mind/soul/whatever it was into someone elses catatonic body. Yada-yada and all that shit. Well, the thing 90% of the people don't know that Charles Xavier had a twin brother. (: Unfortunately, the brother didn't survive and his mind had been destroyed before birth by the power of Charles' mutation. So, you can guess what happened next. I'm not gonna explain further. xP

Now, secondly... about Magneto Im not too sure. But what I do know is that there MAY be another spin off movie "X-Men Origins- Magneto" in year 2011. My guess for now is that yeah, he moves his hand to the piece and it rocks slightly, which suggests that the cure is not permanent. I mean, the cure was taken from the kid's body, right for tests and experimentation and all? And the kid's powers only have a limited range, like when the "Blue Beast" thingy visited him, his hands turns normal and non hairy when approached him. But when he withdraws his hands, the blue hairs grew back xD So it stands to reason that the 'cure' will only have a limited time were its effective. IDK. Just my guess. If this cure is not permanent, then IDK... maybe Rogue and Mystique may get their powers back? No idea. But will be interesting to know by 2011. :P

Ohh, one more thing... There MAY be another sequel/spin off for Juggernaut. IDK. Ill update if I hear more news. :P I REALLY wanna see the Wolverine Movie soon xP Im looking forward to seeing Gambit, Deadpool and Sabretooth again. :P Love Gambit the most x3 Oh, and Sabretooth plays somewhat a big role in Wolverine's Past which I'm not gonna reveal cause I ain't wanna spoil the show. Hehe.

Love Game

2009-05-01T15:45:00.008+08:00

So, I was talking to a friend of mine this morning. Then when I asked what he was doing he said he was listening to Love Game by Lady Gaga. Then I'm like ohhh, I love that song. And he says he is watching the Official Video and I'm like... o.o There was a video for that song? So, he sent me the link from youtube and BAM! I got this...

This video is not available in your country.

I'm like WTH. Urghs. No wonder I never came across this video. Probably cause it's banned in Singapore? Well, I've heard of news that its also banned in Australia and some other countries. DAMN. And my friend could have viewed it probably cause he's from America. How unfair. x.x Urghs. Damn rules. Anyway, its definitely HARD as hell for "them" to block and totally ban this video. Hehehe. So, i got to "work" and finally got to see the Official Video a few minutes ago. And erms NO, I will not tell you where to see the video. Hahaha. And wows, Holy shit! It was DAMN PROVOCATIVE. Some scenes are just erms... you know what I mean. Plain DIIRRTTTYYY. But then again, I love her glasses in the video. Silver Netting-like glasses or whatever thing that was. xD Cool! And also that shining orb-like staff she was holding when dancing at the dark basement. xP And the metallic nails and the police cop hat. Ok, Ok, enough info on that video. I know I'm killing you guys who can't watch that video. Bwahahaha. Ohhh, and her new song Future Love is sooo cool xP

Let's have some fun, this beat is sick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick
Don't think too much just bust that kick
I wanna take a ride on your disco stick

More On Lady Gaga being banned: http://music.ninemsn.com.au/blog.aspx?blogentryid=375366&showcomments=true&rss=yes

*sobs* (she's just f-ing awesome)

Feeling Happy Sad

2009-04-29T22:24:00.004+08:00

Can you feel happy and sad at the same time? IDK, sounds ironic on its own. But yeah. Kinda Happy-Sad now xD Ill keep it short.

The Wave and The Lie(or maybe misunderstanding?)

The Wave made me so happy. x3 Ahehehe xP SOME ppl will know what I'm talking about xP Hmm, the lie, or whatever it is... just flipped my day today. Imma go do RJ and head to bed xP Tomorrow taking MRT. Ahehehehe. SO long since I went to school by MRT. xP Whatever it is... I want to see a better day tomorrow xP

Random

2009-04-27T21:53:00.003+08:00

Whee. Tomorrow Week 2 of school for me. SO excited. (: Faci's are ok-ish. I have issues with ONE only xD Not gonna reveal who xP Anyway, nothing to blog about. Just something random.

Audemarspiguet watch
Dimples in your necktie

Hermes briefcase
Cartier top clips

Silk lined blazers
Diamond creamed facials

Vi vi x cuff links
6 star pent suites

Wheeeeeeee. IDK Why I'm so happy? x3

Scared

2009-04-24T19:25:00.004+08:00

I cry at night
Cause my baby's
Too far to be by my side

To wipe away
These tears of mine
So I hold my pillow tight

To imagine you
I'll stretch your hand
Looking for mine

Cause I'm lost in this dream
I need you to hold me
I'm scared of lonely

And I'm scared of being the only
Shadow I see along the wall
And I'm scared of the only
Heartbeat I hear beating is my own

I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost
In this dream, I need you to hold me

I need your strength
When nobody is around
Cause I'm tired of this emptiness
I think I'm drowning

Back To School

2009-04-23T01:04:00.003+08:00

Alrite, so I have been really so busy (maybe just lazy) to blog. My new class is nice I guess. At least for now. x3 The environment is friendly and I kinda like it. As for modules... that I don't really know. On our first day, we studied on Photography. I wasn't really into it but hmmm, kinda like it at the end I guess. I only hate the terms and understanding them. ISO, Shutter Speed and all that crap. Urghs. On Wednesday was about Creative Concepts and we focused on personalities. Worse thing was we had to do a play for presentation. Why-O-Why. I hate plays. I prefer PowerPoint/MahJong Paper Presentations. :P Ok I don't wanna talk a lot. I want to go to bed now. x3 Looking forward to tomorrow (technically today since its 1am) lesson. Wheee.

I got inspired to draw something on PAINT.
Haha. Thanks rite, PAINT! :P Not fully done though. :P

3...2...1... What's Next?

2009-04-18T01:40:00.004+08:00

3... One of my brother's hamster died. x.x Since yesterday was so ill. Poor Thing. So I was sitting and watching the whole row of cages and observing each cage. Then I came to the 2nd last one. Two kinda young hamsters. :P One black and one white. The black loves to climb up the bars and chew. x.x At 3 in the morning I can hear that thing chew everyday. x.x So I noticed the Black one was lying and wasn't as active as normal. I open and "poked" softly by the side. It moved but was struggling. Something wrong with the hind legs. I tried to push it up and made it walk. It couldn't walk. x.x Eiiik. So, I just observed. About 10mins later... that thing didnt move at all. x.x But it was still breathing and eyes were like so small. I shredded tissue paper into long strips and lay it onto the hamster. xD Maybe its cold? IDK xD So I left. 10 mins later I told my mum. That thing was like motionless. x.x We moved the hamster up into the higher compartment and separate it. And gave extra bedding x.x It was so thick x3 Left it to rest. Today morning woke up. Phew... smells bad and flies around. x.x Urghs. x.x Had to dispose it.

2... 8pm, doing my normal stuffs on the Laptop and suddenly the lights flicker. I thought it was erms.. ok maybe I'm seeing things. o.o By 10pm, it was flashing on and off. It was like some disco shit. VERY annoying though. So I offed it for good and I'm gonna live in the dark till that thing gets fixed. x.x Trust me I'd fix it myself if I know too but I don't Ill have to wait. Sighs.

1... School's coming soon. Today Is Friday. Actually, I'm kinda excited. I'm so ready to give up this slacky mood. I was to have something to do even if it is Reflection Journals everyday and stupid tests to study for. I'm sick of rotting at home. People keep telling me to enjoy the last minutes of my vacation but trust me, I want my vacation to be done and over with. x.x I enjoyed it WAY too much that it drives me to extreme boredom. School... coming soon :D

*You know who you are, I dedicate this song to you.
Sorry for your loss. I'm with you every step of the way.

One Person In Mind Survey

2009-04-10T20:42:00.003+08:00

Think of one person. Base him/her in your answers. You CAN'T change what you have already thought! First thing that comes out in your mind pleazzz...

1.) Is he/she your friend in friendster??
No. I don't even have friendster. :P

2.) Why did you pick him/her in this survey?
Erms.. *Pokes Instructions?* First thing that comes to my mind? Duh.

3.) What place do you remember with him/her?
IDK. :o

4.) What song do you remember with him/her?
Already Gone- Kelly Clarkson

5.) ...and why?
Cause he likes it so much.

6.) Is the height just fine??
It's more than fine fo sho x3

7.) ...good at singing?
I really don't know about that. :o

8.) ...dancing?
Again, I don't know xD

9.) Does he/she look similar to a actor/actress?
Not any that I know of.

10.) Are you two close?
Hell yeah!

11.) Have you seen him/her mad?
Yesh. Scary :o

12.) ...smile?
Haha. YESH and I like what I saw. (:

13.) ...cry?
Nope. Not YET. :P

14.) What does he/she like to wear?
This I remembered. His school attire... with first 2 buttons undone, a belt, a blazer with 2 buttons on either sides ripped, untucked shirt and his own pair of socks to school. (:

15.) Does he/she make you happy?
Maybe more than Happy *gleams*

16.) Did you make him/her cry?
I hope not.

17.) Favorite food?
Not sure but he hates fish I think. :o Brain Food! *laughs*

18.) Favourite song?
I answered this just now. :P

19.) What do you call each other?
And why must you know? =3

20.) Any message for the person?
Two Words: Te Amo (:

Friends

2009-04-10T00:25:00.003+08:00

We all have friends. Many types of friends. Online friends, real life friends, virtual friends, close friends, best friends, good friends and the list goes on. How do we categorize them? Well today, I hit rock bottom. I never felt so low in my life x.x A best friend stabbed me in my back after everything I did for him. Can people really be that cruel? And I've been nothing but Mr Nice to him. So many sacrifices I made. I guess the whole "List" of who is which friend changes now and then. Every second you spend with them... they go up or down in that "List", closer to you or just more distant.

Worse part is that I feel I was threatened. :( Threatened with something I treasure most as of right now. What would you do? Do the right thing and uphold justice? Or protect something you loved so much? I chose to protect that something that I loved so much. Well, at least that shows I'm still human though seeing how weak I am to not be able to give up something in the name of justice. x.x OMG. That sounded so crappy. WTH am I talking about. Oh What the heck... moving on.

At least I'm thankful that I was born to be a positive person. I'll take this as a big life-long learning experience and move on. Plus you learn best when you've experienced it and what I've experienced... was so hurtful and its so depressing. I'll get through eventually. Time heals all. Nothing can be done to undo the past. After all, I still have that something I love so much safe within my protection.

Nothing

2009-04-02T19:19:00.002+08:00

Got nothing to blog about these days. Just rotting at home and waiting for school to reopen soon :o I can't wait.

ATTACK OF THE SMILEYS! OMFG, FAT KIRBY. x.x

For Once

2009-03-26T23:23:00.002+08:00

Mr Nice Bitch doesnt feel like blogging. So I'll just post lyrics. (:

For once in my life
I've got someone who needs me
Someone I've needed so long

For once, unafraid
I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I'll be strong

For once I can touch
What my heart used to dream of
Long before I knew

Someone warm like you
Could make my dreams come true

For once in my life
I wont let sorrow hurt me
Not like it's hurt me before

For once I have someone
I know wont desert me
I'm not alone anymore

For once I can say
This is mine you can't take it
Long as I know I've got love, I can make it

New Class

2009-03-20T12:07:00.006+08:00

I got news from Lynette about the New Classes today. Yup. Yandao is updated with the new classes. IDK if I should be happy or not. :P Joel is in my class again this Sem. Haha. And to think that Last Semester he keep saying about the possibility of ending up in the same class. Pffft. Anyway... My Modules this coming semester.

Day 8 - Creative Concepts(T201) @ E24M-B
Day 2 - Digital Media Arts(T205) @ E24M-B
Day 3 - History of the Arts(T207) @ E24M-B
Day 4 - Arts Criticism & Analysis(T208) @ E24M-B

The only thing that I'm curious about is Creative Concepts(T201) and I feel like I'm going to suck at Digital Media Arts(T205). Its like shit and alien language to me. Crapp! Anyway... did a bit of searching up and I'm surprised at how small the world is.

Dee(W14C) is in the same class as Zane, Hanis and Wei Yang(WWSS)
Yoges(W14C) is in the same class as William and Kenvin(XNPS) and Syahiran(WWSS)
Vit(W14C) is in the same class as Ileane-Wei Jie(Shu Hui's Classmate)
JL(W26L) is in the same class as Sean(Jill's Friend)
Wan(W14C)is in the same class as Nigel(WWSS) and Faizal
Lian Li(W26L) is in the same class as Danial and Yan Ting (WWSS)

And there are a lot more I came across. :P Just too lazy to update.

~~Can't Read~~ My
~~Can't Read~~ My
No HE ~~Can't Read~~ My
POKERFACE

*20th March: Today did something really stupid. Where did my brains and common sense go? Dark future ahead. Shrugs. I can't fix this mess. =X

Mistakes

2009-03-17T22:34:00.007+08:00

Haiz. No mood now. I feel like Im losing contact with many people. Why must everyone break apart and go their own ways. Im not ready to say goodbye. :( Spin time back for me please. 2 gone. 1 left. 1 missing in action. Charlie if you are reading this... Contact me for gods sake. Please.

Moving on... today I feel like I want to correct all the mistakes I've done in the past. IDK. Maybe I upset you? Make you mad? Disappoint you in any way. I APOLOGIZE. Im going to correct them one by them slowly and try to make things better I guess. Yea, it will start small. :)

Forget about guns
And forget ammunition
Cause Im killing them all
On my own little mission

And I am a weapon
If massive consumption
And its not my fault
Its how Im programmed to function

Now Im not a saint
But Im not a sinner
Now everything's cool
As long as Im getting thinner

Memoirs

2009-03-16T02:00:00.005+08:00

Its 2am. IDK why but I love posting at this hour. Its SO QUIET and I can really type with nothing interupting me :P I just upgraded/updated to the new msn. Layout's kinda looking spiffy but Im still getting used to the photo/file transfers. Very Irritating for me I find. Anyway, so i browsed through my MSN Chat Logs today. Yea, under frostie_white's email. Cause since Im starting out with my new msn(ah-reef) frostie_white's memories would be gone. I begin reading some past conversations and I read back on my conversations with Dylan. Hmmm. The days when Valorica was still starting out. OMG, I really miss Valorica. It brings a lot of good memories and bad ones too. :( Sighs. People like Tracy, Adrien, Dylan and definitely not forgetting Charlie. I missed those days when...

Im in school not paying attention but busy coding for Dylan.
Or chatting at the Guild and MSN with Tracy and Adrien.
And lastly chatting on AIM with Charlie.

And then everything just fell apart. Seems like everyone went different ways. IDK if anyone of us got talk to one another now. Sighs. The only person I talk to now is Tracy. I find it wierd talking to Dylan or Charlie now. IDK why. And Adrien... Sighs, I havent seen you in a month. I wonder how you are doing. I thought it was going to be easy leaving Valorica. But I was wrong. VERY wrong. =/ I'll just let time fly. Time heals all. =/

This picture just cracks me up for no reason.

Friday The 13th

2009-03-13T18:16:00.005+08:00

Today is Red-Nose Day. Too bad Singapore does not celebrate it. Kinda cool if Singapore celebrate it. >.< Anyway, my brain is all cramped right now. Full of Latin words. Jaymz teaching me Latin! Whoo hoo! So far I've memorized 75+ words in Latin and what they mean in English. Ok. Latin is NOT easy. Pronouncing is the hardest I think o-o I suck at this. I guess practice makes perfect then. :P But Im doing good so far :)

I got 2 Wrongs (Spectat & Laetus) =/

It Ain't Normal

2009-03-11T02:11:00.005+08:00

Its 2am now. I am DYING right now. Today/Yesterday is NOT like any of those normal days. I woke up at 2pm yesterday. Usually I wake up at 1pm SHARP. :P Yesterday Jaymz never come online to talk to me before he go to school. Not normal. Usually I would be alone at home rotting in the hot afternoons but yesterday I went out to meet Si Min, Syidah and Hannah. So, that ain't normal. Yesterday, I walked home all the way from Westwood after taking 172 (243 Bus Never Came -.-). Again, that ain't normal. Yesterday, I cooked my own Dinner. Hmm, SO not normal. Lastly, its 2am and Jaymz is not online STILL. Boo-Hoo. I'm dying and this is SO NOT NORMAL. Sometimes being different SUCKS.

Oh come on, get things back to what its supposed to be PLEASE. :(
And I'm becoming clingy and needy. Please... Changes things BACK. :(
I can't survive a day like this anymore.
I want to stick to the STATUS QUO! :(

Right Not Wrong Now

2009-03-10T22:08:00.012+08:00

I've made up my mind
Don't need to think it over
If I'm ~~wrong~~ I am right
Don't need to look no further
This ain't lust
I know this is love

Wrong Not Right

2009-03-08T20:16:00.003+08:00

Today sucks. Seems like everything I do turns out wrong. Why can't I be right for once? I question too much. I don't trust people. I lie. I backstab. Yea, it shows that I am human. But everyone has done at least one of these ugly things in life. Why am I the one singled out to be always wrong. One more try? Guess so...

Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
He's such a ~~beautiful disaster~~

And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a ~~beautiful disaster~~

Good Morning

2009-03-07T05:05:00.000+08:00

Well. Good Morning everyone. Its 5am now. Its wierd for me to say morning cause I'm yet asleep :P Anyway, just wanted to blog about this before I sleep and later on forget :P Seriously... nothing much to blog about. So, here....a 4,000 word essay that Jaymz wrote. I know, randomness. x.X Ill read the essay and soon fall asleep :) My new bed time story :) Ok. Im going to read and sleep soon. :)

A Close Call
"Welcome back class, I guess that you all have already heard." Miss Claude said standing confidently in front of the class. I always found it hard to contain my laughter whenever Miss Claude spoke to us. She looked so manly. Her voice was the deepest voice I had ever heard come out of a woman’s mouth. She was a tall lean woman. She was previously in the army, which explains her strictness. But at the age of 32 she gave up her life of adventure and danger to become a high school teacher and eventually, the head teacher.
"Mr Connery has broken both his legs and an arm over the winter holiday in a skiing accident." A few hushed giggles ran through the class room as this was said. Yes, class 10C has already heard about Mr Connery’s skiing incident, and it was very amusing.
"This is no laughing matter!" called Miss Claude. And the giggling turned into silence. "I have assigned a temporary teacher to take charge of this form until Mr Connery gets back on his feet, which might take a while. Behave, and show respect." She spoke sternly to us. The door creaked open gently causing the classes attention to focus on it. And through the door walked a young male. He wasn’t very tall and wasn’t very short, he was perfect. He had messy short black hair, shining grey eyes and peachy skin. He was casual looking, but professional at the same time. He wore black trousers with a smart navy blue shirt, leaving 5 top buttons undone. I could hear girls sighing all through the class and boys starring with envy. At that moment I knew I was in love. Actually I didn’t. I knew I liked him, he was very good looking. But every other girl in the class felt the exact same. Loads of teens got crushes on their teachers. It was nothing original, or special. But what makes it original and special is when the teacher likes you back.

"This is Mr Davis." Miss Claude introduced as he joined her in front of the class. Davis smiled a white glowing smile. "Well, you have everything you need?" Claude asked turning to him. Davis nodded calmly. "I’ll leave you to it then." She said scanning the class room one last time. The moment she left the room all heads turned to Davis. There was a long silence. All that could be heard was the creaking of chairs and the crowing of birds from outside the window.

"She’s a bit scary ain’t she?" He said cracking a smile. The boys in the class nodded and laughed. But the girls just stared admiringly. "Okay.... let’s get down to business." He said punching the palm of his hand.
"Do we have to sir?" Called Sam. He was the class clown. Or at least he thought he was. I never really found him amusing. But the boys all followed his lead regardless. "Yeah do we have to?" I heard each one call out.
"Shh...." Davis hushed silencing them. No supply had been able to do that before. He certainly had a way with the children. "Since I’m gonna be here for while why don’t I get to know you all. Just talk amongst yourselves while I come round." The whole class cheered and started shouting to each other.
"He’s gorgeous ain’t he?" said Amy turning to me. We were close friends. We had been since year eight. To be honest, I was kinda jealous of her. She was very pretty, had all the boys chasing her. Blond hair, blue eyes, busty. If I were a boy, I would chase her. But on the other hand, I was just a thin stick with straight brown hair and hazel eyes.

"What’s your name?" Davis asked Amy kneeling on the floor to get at the same level. I saw Amy blush.
"Amy sir." She answered smiling madly. "Is it alright if I call you Davis?" She asked. He laughed slightly then nodded.
"Yeah, that’s alright." He had such a lovely laugh. "What about you?" He asked turning to me.
"Claire." I answered.
"I’ve always liked that name." He said. I couldn’t help but blush. Clair was such a commonly used name. It wasn’t special. Why did he like it?

Over the past week Davis had become a big hit with the students at school, especially the boys. He would write a note for each of us to be excused from class and let us play football outside on Tuesday
mornings. I suppose he got into loads of trouble for that, but he carried on regardless. Amy managed to find out a lot about him. For example, he was only 23. He has studied child psychology and the history of art in college. He was saving up to go on an around the world trip. He was wonderful, outgoing and adventurous. But like most men, he had a downfall. He had a girlfriend. It wasn’t much of a shock; a man like him was bound to have a girlfriend. But it was still heart breaking all the same, not just for me but for every girl.

I wanted to see more of him. The only time I ever got to see him was for morning and lunch registration and Art on Thursdays for two periods (Mr Connery was also my art teacher as well as my form teacher.) But that wasn’t good enough. I was surrounded by others all the time and couldn’t have Davis to myself. But then something happened, it was fate, it had to be.

It was Monday morning registration and as usual the girls were squealing in the corner of the room and the boys were shouting at the top of there voices. But I sat quietly in at the far end of the room minding my own business, reading a book (‘Along came a Spider’ by James Patterson). After half an hour the bell rang for first lesson.

"Claire! Stay behind, I’ve been asked to talk to you!" Davis called over to me. At first it didn’t seem real. It felt like a dream. But I soon realized that I was indeed wide awake. I just nodded, dumb-found.
"Oh that is so unfair." said Amy nudging me in the shoulder.
"Yeah. Why does he want to talk to you?" asked Jenny joining in. I shrugged. All the girls surrounded me giving me envious looks. Secretly I was pleased. But I couldn’t understand why. He only wanted to talk to me after all.
I waited for the class the empty before walking over to his desk.

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked shyly.
"Well... I’ve been told by your teachers that you are not giving enough effort in class."
"What do you mean?"
"Mrs Bradshaw said you rarely listen or do any work in German. She said you just sit around day dreaming. And Mr Radshaw said the exact same thing." He told me. I didn’t know what to say. I stood still looking like a little girl being told off. "Is there anything you want to talk to me about?" He asked sounding concerned. He rested his hand gently on my shoulder. "Anything going on at home?" I shook my head. There was nothing wrong with me. I was just a day dreamer and I had a very short attention span.

"What do you want to do when you’re older?" Davis asked out of the blue.
"I’m not sure, a writer maybe."
"You like reading?" He asked. I nodded slowly.
"What do you like?"
"James Patterson." He nodded.
"I’ve read a couple of his stuff. He writes murder mysteries right? My favourite of his is ‘Jack and Jill’." He told me.
"That’s one of mine too." I said smiling. We had so much in common.
"My girlfriend Jemma likes him too." I cringed at the mention of her name. I had never met the woman but I hated her already. Davis spoke a bit more about James Patterson’s style of writing. I found it all quite interesting.

"Well..." He said. "If there is nothing wrong, I guess you should get to lesson." He rested his hand on my shoulder again. Our faces were close. So very close. The thought of kissing him shot in and out of my mind like a lightning bolt. Wait... I could kiss him. NO! I was Claire. Good, well behaved Claire. I wouldn’t do that. But if I wouldn’t... why was my face slowly edging towards his? Why were our lips millimeters apart? Just a bit further and we would be-

"Mr Davis, I need to see you about that football thing again!" shouted Miss Claude from the doorway. I quickly pulled my head away from Davis, and he did the same. Luckily, Claude hadn’t looked up from her clip board and didn’t see a thing.
"Um... yeah... um. We already have spoken." He told her.
"Yes I know but-" She looked up from her clip board. "Are you okay?" She asked him. "You just look a bit flushed."
"Flushed? No. I’m fine." He told her. I stood beside him, my cheeks red with embarrassment. "Can I talk to you in a second? I’m sort of in the middle of something." He asked looking at me with a confused and at the same time slightly angered expression.
"No. This is all the time I can give you I’m afraid." She told him while tucking her shirt properly into her masculine trousers. "Claire, get to class." She ordered me. I obeyed and scurried out of the door.

Getting out of the stuffy class room cleared my head. I couldn’t believe what had happened. I was shaking from the thought. This was not me. This was not Claire. Why had I done that? It was a spur of the moment thing. But wait... Davis hadn’t pulled away. Did he like me too? NO! He couldn’t. Not me. Besides, he had a girlfriend. So then why didn’t he stop it?
I was confused, dazed. I needed to get out. I needed to get away from the school. So I did. I left, heading towards the park. That was the place I would usually go to when I needed time to think. I could see things more clearly then. I could figure out what to do next.

"I had a call from the school!" Mum shouted as soon as I had walked through the door. "What do you think you’re playing at, I’ve spoken to you about this before?" I couldn’t be bothered to argue back. Mum and I had never seen eye to eye. And her constant drinking doesn’t help matters at all. I was also angry with her going out with men nearly every night. Sometimes she wouldn’t come back for days and I would have to run the house on my own. But luckily Amy would help me though.

"Sorry." I mumbled pathetically under my breath. Mum looked anxiously down at her watch.
"I haven’t got time for this. We will talk about it another time." She fixed her self up through the mirror in the hall way. She applied a coat of mascara to her eye lashes and bushed up her dark brown hair.
"Where are you off to?" I asked her already knowing the answer.
"I have a date."
"AGAIN!" That was the 10th date she had had that month. I was tired of it. The men she chose to go out with were no good. They only wanted her for one thing, and she gave it to them without question. As much as I hated to admit it... my mum was a slut!!!!
"Shut up and go upstairs." She ordered me. I did as she said. I knew that one day she would get really hurt by a man, and I wouldn’t be there to pick up the pieces.

I lay on my bed, running through my mind the events that had accrued earlier on that day. What had come over me? Nothing like that had ever happened to me. But the more I thought about it, the less I regretted it. I liked the danger of it all; I liked the fun, which was something I never thought I would hear myself say. But it was the truth. And that was the precise moment that I realised. I was in love... with Mr Davis.

I wanted so bad to tell someone. I wanted to scream it out at the top of my lungs. But I didn’t, I could have told Amy, but she wouldn’t keep it a secret. I had to be discrete for this to work. I didn’t want Davis to get into trouble. I had to think this through. How could I get Davis alone? Wait... I wouldn’t have to worry about that.

"Claire. Stay behind. I need to talk to you." Davis called the next day at morning registration.
"Again?" Amy asked me suspiciously. "What’s going on?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"Nothing." I told her innocently. I felt as if my whole personality was changing. It might sound stupid, but I felt wild, out of control. Amy asked me questions suspiciously for a while before she got dragged away from me by the boys .Once again I waited for the class room to empty.

"What you did yesterday was wrong." Davis told me sternly but quietly. "Do you know the amount of trouble I could get into?" he asked. I was silent. All the confidence I had felt early had been drained out of me. I looked down at my shoes and twiddled my thumbs. Once again I felt like a little school girl. NO! I was 15. I was not little. I would be 16 in a month. I had to say how I felt.

"It didn’t feel wrong." I told him so quietly he could barely hear it.
"NO. But nothing happened." He said slamming his hands on the table. I jumped slightly because of the shock. There was silence for a moment. Neither of us knew what to say.
"You were going to kiss me back." I whispered.
"Oh, is that what you think?"
"Yeah! It is." I was angry, hurt, upset. Had I read it all wrong? No. I couldn’t have. There was only one way to find out.

I lent forward and kissed him. I did it fast to make sure that no body interrupted us that time. Then we stood apart, in silence again. But to my surprise, HE lent forward this time, and kissed me back. We didn’t stop. The kiss became fiercer. I couldn’t pry my hands off him. I fell back so that I was sitting on the desk. I remember every detail. I remember the feel of his soft skin, the smell of his minty breath, the scent of his after shave. It was like magic.

"No!" He said pulling apart. "This is wrong. I have a girlfriend."
"So, I won’t tell."
"You don’t understand!" He shouted running his hands through his hair in frustration. "It’s dangerous!"
"It’s fun!"
"It’s wrong!" He told me very seriously. "You’re too young to understand."
"I am not! I know how risky this is just as much as you do!"
"Then why play these games?!"

I didn’t answer that straight away. I didn’t know what to say. What was the truth? Was it the fun? Was it the excitement? NO. I knew what it was, but should I tell him? Was it too soon?
"I love you." I said to him. He looked confused.
"No! NO! NO!" He shouted pacing around the room. "You only think you do!"
"And so what if I do? The point is... I have feelings for you." I said standing up close to him.
"And don’t you think I do! But I can’t act on them. Neither can you!"

Wow. He had feelings for me. I was happy. I was glowing. It was the best feeling I had ever felt. But he said he wouldn’t act on them. What to do? I watched him pace across the room, lost in thought.
"You’re only 15."
.................
"So, I will be 16 soon."

More pacing, more thinking.
"I could lose my job."
................
"They won’t find out."

Stopped pacing, still thinking.
"What about Jemma?"
...................
"No one has to know."
"You’re crazy." He said breaking into a confused smile. The smile disappeared after a while. He ran his fingers through his hair. "Get to class." He ordered.
"But-"
"I’m still your teacher." He said looking out of the class room door, checking that no one had witnessed what had happened.
"Okay, okay. I’m going." I told him.

What did this mean? Did it mean that he liked me back and wanted the relationship to go further? Did it mean he wanted to forget the whole thing had ever happened? I had no idea. And I had a feeling that Davis didn't either. I would just have to sit back and enjoy the show!

I was angry. Davis didn’t want to speak to me about what had happened over the last couple of days. He acted normal, completely normal during registration. But the only difference was that he didn’t speak to me at all, where as before this happened, her would have. He hadn’t even managed a smile. I felt alone and foolish. I started to regret doing anything. I was confused and couldn’t understand what I had done wrong. After all, he did say that he had feelings for me, didn’t he? I wanted to talk to someone about it. I was so very close to telling Amy. But I managed to bite my tongue. I knew I would regret it terribly in the future if I had told.

I was in a state, depressed, upset and angry. But the strange thing was... Mr Davis looked even worse than I had. He looked scruffy, like he couldn’t be bothered. He didn’t even joke around with the boys anymore, or take them to play football. I suppose that the best word to describe him was ‘tired’, both mentally and physically. I felt bad. I felt like it was my fault, which in a way it was. I had to confront him, talk to him. But I couldn’t. I too was tired. Not because of him, but because of worry, worry for my mum. She hadn’t come home since she had gone out with that man. At first I wasn’t worried. I assumed she would be back very soon. But when she didn’t return, I felt scared. This was a lot of pressure for a 15 year old girl to handle. And on top of it all, my birthday was in a week and a half. I had told Amy that I would throw a party, but I was in no mood for one. I just wanted mum back; I just wanted to speak to Davis.

"Hey, you look really down. Are you okay?" Amy asked during my maths class. I gave a meaningless nod. Amy was not stupid, she knew very well that there was indeed something wrong with me, and she also knew that when there is something wrong with me, I would not talk about it. There was no getting it out of me, so Amy didn’t even bother to ask. But this time, I so desperately wanted to talk about it. But I couldn’t, there was something stopping me.

All through the day I was getting sympathetic looks from the teachers and students. They didn’t even have to ask, they all automatically knew I had a problem. I sat silently in all my classes, not paying attention to anything being said. But in my German lesson, when a year 8 student entered the class and handed a note to my teacher, and her eyes turned to fix on me, I knew that something was seriously wrong.
"Claire, report to the head teacher’s office." I got told. I stood up without question and left. I wondered what was going on. Had Mr Davis told someone what had happened? Had someone found out?
"Sit down please." Miss Claude told me as she pointed to the chair in front of her. I did as I was told. I guessed that no one had found out about Davis and I as Claude did not sound angry when she spoke. But then again, I could be wrong.
"Your- Your mother..." she began. Right then I knew it was bad news, I had to be. What had happened to my mum? I hoped dearly that she was alright. "Your mother is in a coma." She spoke slowly. It took me a while to register what was said. It didn’t seem real at first. Once the news had set in, the tears built up in my eyes. Claude continued to speak sympathetically. "She got stabbed, and is suffering server injuries. She has got internal bleeding and there is slim chance of survival."

I couldn’t help but remember the last thing I had said to her. Never once had I told her how much I loved her, never once had I thanked her for my fortunate upbringing. I suppose you never really realize how precious something is until it’s gone, or in this case, going.
"I am willing to drive you up to see her." She told me. But I shock my head. I was in a daze. Claude gave me a puzzled look. Who wouldn’t? My mum was in hospital, close to death, and I was refusing to visit her. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t. I wasn’t ready. Something was stopping me from going. I was scared of the state she might be in if I did go. I was scared I would blame myself. I stood up and left, Claude didn’t try to stop me. I was set on going to the park and crying my eyes out, but the tears where coming at that very moment, much too soon, so instead I ran to the nearest empty class room and cried there. I felt safe, protected, hugging my knees in a small corner of the room. I wasn’t sure how long I had been there, maybe an hour, before someone had interrupted me. By then I had stopped crying, but I guessed my eyes were puffy and my cheeks were red.

It was Davis. He didn’t speak at first. He didn’t say a word. He just sat down in the corner next to me in silence. He looked at me sympathetically. But I didn’t look at him.
"I suppose that you’ve heard what happened? I know how you teachers like to gossip." I asked while wiping my eyes with my jumper sleeve. Davis nodded. I could feel the tears coming back. I couldn’t hold them in. They just fell, like a raging waterfall. Even then Davis didn’t speak. And strangely, I was grateful for that. I didn’t want to listen to anyone speak. I just wanted to cry, let it all out. And I think Davis knew that. So that’s what I did. I cried and cried as Davis wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"I know you’re afraid, but I think you should see her. You will regret it if you don’t." He told me. I was upset that he had broken the silence, so I didn’t answer. He didn’t push on the subject.
"Why do you look so scruffy?" I asked him sniffling a bit, looking down at his un-ironed shirt and odd socks. I wanted to change the subject. I didn’t want to think about my mum at that moment other wise I would just end up in tears again. Davis smiled slightly.
"I’ve been sleeping on a friend’s floor." He told me. "I’ve been kicked out my house."
"Why?" I asked softly.
"Jemma and I have broken up." He said sadly.
"Why is that?"
"You know all too well why it is." He answered. And I did know. It was because of me. "I have been teaching for quite a while now and nothing like this has ever happened before." He said looking up at me. I felt slightly ashamed, like he was accusing me of something. But that feeling soon disappeared when he kissed me so very softly.
"Let’s go." He said standing up and holding out his hand to me. "I’ll take you to see your mum." I wasn’t too sure whether I should take it. Should I? That was the moment I was given an ultimatum. If I took Davis hand, that would be it, that would seal the deal, me and him. But if I didn’t take his hand, that would also be it, me and him, apart forever. What to do? But of course, you all already know what I do. After only seconds of debating with myself, I grab his hand and hold it tight.

Scars

2009-03-06T22:24:00.008+08:00

OMG! Today I woke up,
And realised I got a scar,
That runs ~~ACROSS~~ my forehead.
Its kinda obvious. OMG.
I look like a freak. :(
And I don't know how,
That long scar got there. :(
GET IT OFFFFFFFFFF!!! :(

Three Four Five

2009-03-04T18:57:00.003+08:00

3:45

Imma make todays post UBER short.
Today is my HAPPIEST day eva...
Words just can't express it. <3

WHY OH WHY... Today was supposed to be my happiest day. My parents came back home from work and my mum started yelling at me for staying up late yesterday. You flipped my mood 360, inside-out, upside down. Probably cause my dad woke up at like 4am yesterday and stil saw me awake. The whole idea of a family is REALLY annoying and getting on my nerves. Seems like I can never do anything right in this family. I study so hard in school and get super good grades and my parents don't even bother. My dad hasn't even asked me or spoke a WORD about my fucking GPA. My mum never ask also. I need to open my mouth and tell my mum how good I did. I told my mum about my GPA. She was like hmm, ok good. WTF? That's all you can say? Then, if i get lousy grade on purpose like last time in Sec 3, you people then begin to start getting all concerned. WTH do I need to do to get YOUR attention? Keep failing? Its just becoming a real pain. Parents.... two word. FUCK OFF. Urghs!

Oh and one more thing, I'm really tired of PEOPLE who talk behind my back. Whoever it is... family or friends. Just give me a break.

All The Same

2009-03-02T09:30:00.017+08:00

All The Same- Sick Puppies
I dont mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I dont like illusions I cant see
Them clearly
I dont care, no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually what you'll do
I dont mind I dont care
As long as you're here

Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same

Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
Suddenly
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breath you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I am

ARGHHH!!!! I am so mad with myself now. Its 9.30am now. Wondered why I woke up so ealry? It's cause I fell asleep early yesterday. I backtracked and I slept at like 2.40am. ARGHHH!!! I fell asleep with the laptop on my lap. Nooooo!!! Checked my MSN and have 2 messages from Shu Hui and Jaymz!!! Arghs, Im still so mad. =(

After 17years, my dear Mr Giraffe finally has got his first clean scrubbing. Haha. He's so much whiter than he was yesterday. o-o And Mr Giraffe is special from the other soft toys. He is the only soft toy I have that doesnt have a brand tag or whatever it is. Wierd.

You're like an ~~INDIAN SUMMER~~
In the middle of winter
Like a Hard Candy
With a Surprise CENTER

On Cloud Nine

2009-03-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today is Sunday. 1st March 2009. I started the day feeling so tired. Was online till like 4.15am. Called Si Min so that she would wake up to go to Sengkang for some crap stuff. Im like WTH?!!! SOOOO early o-o. Anyway. I got to thank Hannah for chatting with me till like 3.45am. Actually, that was probably the most meaningful talk I ever had on MSN. Meaningful in a way that there were proper content to talk about. Most of the time on MSN... its always been crap talk about something totally random or whining to one another how bored we are. haha. So... talk.... then call Si Min... then crashed back into bed. SOOOOO tired.

Woke up at 12.30pm today and came online. Was feeling all giddy and sick. Sorethroat still not recovering. Plus runny nose. I never felt so sick ever. Went to shower and felt a bit better. Then back to laptop as USUAL. Uninstalled Sims2 cause that game was getting on my nerves. Keep freezing and hanging. Grrrr. Then spent the day chatting with Jaymz, Hannah, Syidah, Si Min, Shu Hui and KC.

Conversations today very nice. :P Obviously Im happy. Haha. And Jaymz changes his MSN DP to my MSN DP. So sah-weet xD Oh... and his PM.... *Coughs* He's the best god damn thing that I found on Earth. Besides Syidah, Hannah, Si Min and Shu Hui. Haha. Well, thats it for today. Going back to MSN. Haha. Nites and I hope the good times keep rolling this March for me. I've been down and sad for the past year. It's time someone makes me happy :) ILY!!!

Dream House

2009-02-28T20:43:00.002+08:00

So, apparently some people have asked me a couple of time this month what I do at home during the whole school break so far. Well, I always say rotting. x3 What do I do specifically? Sims2, Draw and Doodle mostly. :P And here is my favourite (Dream House) Sims2 House. :P Took me 3-4 hours just to do the landscaping and all outside. P.S: The inside of the house is empty at the moment. I shall do that tomorrow x3

Overview Of The Exterior House

Front Close Up VIew

Entrance Area

Left Side Of House (The Pool)

View From The Back

Right Side Of House (Play Area/BBQ Area)

And I draw on MSN with my pathetic mouse also.

Another MSN Drawing x3

Happy Birthday

2009-02-28T14:54:00.005+08:00

28th Feb. You're 18 now.
Happy Birthday Charlie

Behind These Hazel Eyes - Kelly Clarkson

Tired And Bored

2009-02-26T18:34:00.002+08:00

So, yesterday was probably supposed to be like any boring day of mine till Shu Hui MSN me asking to go out. -.- Ok. Ok. So went out. Eat at PM and then go to JP. Came back home and out of the blue I decided to clean my room up and rearranged some stuffs. Took down the heavy white curtains also. Haha. Its so heavy that the hinges drilled to the wall were like going to come off. Haha. Heavy indeed. And I managed to revived the OLD COMPUTER I used to use. Wheee. How wonderful... Read through some old files in there and saw some really old school assignments. Like my Sec 2 Book Review Notes and Show And Tell Script. Haha. And a lot more wierd stuffs xD Well. Stayed up chatting till about 5am again :p However at 4.30am.... lets just say some really wierd unexplained thing happened and I freaked out like nuts and froze for about 10mins. x3 *Ish still trying to make sense of what and how it happened* Haha. Anyway... today is the boring day. Much more boring than yesterday definitely. Well dinner coming soon. GTG. :)

Mood Swings

2009-02-24T21:40:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I slept at 4.30am siah. Thats like by far the latest I've slept at home. So, I turned off lights at 3am pretending to be asleep and used laptop till 4.30am. Haha. Wheee. But was fun chatting till that late with Jaymz. :P Couldnt sleep well last night. I was like rolling in bed for 2hours when my siblings wake up to go to school then I remember I fell asleep. Phew, Lucky xD

Anyway, I woke up at 11am surprisingly. When I went online Si Min immediately MSN-ed me about Sem 2 GPA. Woah... Suddenly, I felt like WIDE awake. Haha. Scared yet excited. So went to Leo and damn that page loaded so long. The intense like nearly killed me. But I was kinda prepared for the worse cause I knew this Semester I didnt perform as well, I think. So was expecting 3.4-3.7 for GPA this Semester. Then, the page loaded. POOFED!!! 4A's and 1B+ Grade. OMFG! *Faints* 3.9 again. That was a BIG SHOCK. Now, Im still trying to take in that Great News.

So... the day went past miserably.. Mood went down the drain man. By 6pm, I'm bored like hell. Not many people online to talk. Anyway... it was 50% of my time passed already. Another 6 hours before Jaymz come back online to chat with me. *ish still waiting*

Then talked to SiMin at night and then she left. So I went to talk to Lynette till 1am. xD Then Jaymz came online. Talked then I poofed to bed. Woke up at 11am. Met Si Min at CCK Mac and watched her do some present stuffs. o-o Still havent finish arrr? LOL. Then Syidah and Hanna came along. Ahahaha x3 Went to Popular. Walked around Lot 1. Then took 172 back with Hannah. End of day. End of story x3 Outzzz...

Holding The Pain

2009-02-22T22:51:00.002+08:00

One shot to your heart
Without breaking your skin
No one has the power to
Hurt you like your kin

Kept it inside
Didn't tell no one else
Didn't even wanna
Admit it to yourself

And now your chest burns
And your back aches
From 15 years
of holding the pain

And now you only
Have yourself to blame
If you continue to live this way

One shot to your heart
Without breaking your skin
No one has the power to
Hurt you like your friends

Thought it will never change
But this time moved on
An ugly duckling
Grew up to be a swan

And now your chest burns
And your back aches
Because now the years
Are showing up on your face

But you're never be happy
And you'll never be whole
Until you see the beauty in growing old

Muffins And Cupcakes

2009-02-22T01:23:00.004+08:00

Someone sent me a very wierd E-Mail today. Linked me to this Muffin Quiz and Cupcake Quiz. I find it hilarious. No harm trying it out. Results?

The Cupcake Test
Your Cupcake Says You Are Lovable
At parties, you tend to be laid back and even a bit shy. You are an observer. You hardly have any restraint. You only hold yourself back when absolutely necessary. The most important thing in your life is passion. You are laid back, flexible, and easy to get along with. To know you is to care for you.

What Kind of Muffin Are You?
You Are a Bran Muffin
Some people have accused you of being all work and no play. And that does describe you most of the time. You are very career oriented. When you're not working making money, you're working to improve yourself. You have very little room in your life for fluff. You want to live as good of a life as possible. You are competitive and driven. You like to surround yourself with other motivated people. While you are a go-getter, you are by no means self centered. Quite the opposite. You are a caring, together, and stable friend. You are grounded enough to be there for people.

BTW, WTH is a Bran Muffin? o-o I don't eat muffins I guess. o-o Cupcakes FTW :P

Cupcakes And Games

2009-02-18T18:17:00.009+08:00

Yesterday afternoon SH and SM came over to bake cupcakes. LOL. 2 people were missing cause they got SKOOL x3 Bwahaha. Anyway SM took home cupcakes for the 2 people :P It was crazy yesterday.

First thing first, was the mixer. God knows what happened, the mixer didnt work on that day. -.- So had to use whisk and work with hands. Damn was it hard. And secondly, Shu Hui donno how to use knife. Oh gosh. Bwahahah x3 I asked her... know how to use knife. She said, Ya Of Course. 10mins or so later. She said, Aiyoo, no wonder I find it hard to cut the Chocolate into smaller pieces. Cause I use wrong side. I was lie WTH? Hahaha. x3

Then Si Min and me had troubles using the blender to blend the sugar. Haha. The equipment was like smooth plastic and my hands were kinda oily so we couldnt tighten the equipment properly. Haha. It takes 4 hands to insert the equipment in place to blend sugar. Haha.

Then they left and I played games on Orisinal. OMG. I had forgotten the website name for ages till I asked Si Min. Amazingly, she remembered. :o So, was busy playing. Whee. Im bored. Screenshots? :P

1st Try and New High Score :o

3rd Try and A New High Score. I love this Bug Game :)

2nd try and look at the High Score diff. :P

3rd Try and I got a New High Score 9 times better. x3

Play Them at www.orisinal.com

Charlie...

2009-02-17T20:26:00.002+08:00

I'll Remember This Forever: ah hae an ee til ya & gang hail-heidit fer ya

*LOL. Let's see who are the people who will be bothered to find out what these 2 phrases means :P

Request Troubles

2009-02-17T02:34:00.003+08:00

I am so mad right now. Its like 2am now? And what am I doing? CODING CSS AND HTML. Why? Because people have been RUSHING ME. Yeah. Let me get this straight... You people are RUSHING ME. RUSHING, RUSHING, RUSHING ME. And it really pisses me off so much when I get rushed. I can't think properly and I can chill to finish the work properly. And NO, I do not do half-past six jobs. And seriously who likes half-past six jobs? That's the most annoying thing for me personally. Hate Em'. Gawd because I like to be precise, accurate and flawless. Thats HOW I WORK. P-E-R-F-E-C-T-I-O-N-I-S-T! Damn It. I can't be bothered if you want to pick and criticise on me for being like that. That's how I roll... Get used to it or Get lost. Grrr. If ya can't wait. Go get someone else to do ya dirty work. I'm here to help but I need time. Rush me and you ain't getting anything. Meanwhile... NO MORE REQUESTS for at least one month. I gotta give myself a break. I'm sick of doing other people's work and I get nothing in return. Not even Thank You's. Would all of you just learn to be appreciative?

Shake You Off

2009-02-15T19:00:00.001+08:00

By the time you get this message
It's gonna be too late
So don't bother paging me
Cause I'll be on my way

See, I grabbed all my diamonds and clothes
Just ask your momma she knows
You're gonna miss me baby
Hate to say I told you so

I found out about a gang
Of your dirty little deeds
With this one and that one
By the pool, on the beach, in the streets

Heard y'all was
Hold up my phone's breakin' up
I'ma hang up and call the machine right back
I gotta get this off of my mind

You wasn't worth my time
So I'm leaving you behind
Cause I need a real love in my life

Save this recording because
I'm never coming back home
Baby I'm gone
Don't cha know

I really gotta shake you of. But I'll admit I'm not doing a very good job. x(

Countdown: 2 more days till Tuesday :D

I Went Out

2009-02-14T13:23:00.002+08:00

Yesterday went out with some friends. Basically Syidah, Si Min, Hannah and Shu Hui. Surprise, surprise met Zulfaidi at JP Solo. Bwahahaha. So he joined us for a while. We went to eat at Long John's... Hmmm, and there we like shadows that keep passing us. Like something was on top flying. Bwahahaha. We keep looking up thinking it was like bird of something. Bwahahah. Which was impossible. Soon enough, realised that it was the PEOPLE that were walking past the bridge on top. Haha. And tha Big Bird joke was DAMN Funny. ROFL. Hmmm, basically then walked around JP. Gawd. I find JP boring liaos. xD Wakakaka. Then later exchange gifts for Valentines. Bwahahaha. Rasyidah was like so proud she did the DIY Flowers. xD Hehehe :) Good job. :) And Si Min needed EXTRA TIME to make up for her gifts. Hahah xD Last Min panic ehh? lol. I dont mind. And Shu Hui gave that big box of Toblerone. And later we were arguing how its pronouced. Haha. Blur-rone or Bleh-rone. hahaha xD Still undecided. xD Lastle, Nana gave some sweet goodies. Love the wrapping paper xD As for me, I gave cupcakes as usual. xD STANDARD. xD Oh and at 1am Shu Hui Msn ms asking for more cupcakes. O-O Ello... its 1 in the morning. O-O bwahahah xD Anyway, thats about it. Actually, kinda feels nice to go out and leave house. xD I wanna go out MORE!!! :)

Still Torn Up About It

2009-02-13T09:26:00.002+08:00

Gotta be strong gotta be strong but I'm
Really hurtin now that you're gone

I thought maybe I'd do some shopping
But I couldnt get past the door and

Now I dont know, now I dont know If Im
Ever really gonna let you go

And I couldnt even leave my apartment
I'm stripped down, torn up about it
T-shirt Song By Shontelle

Today going out. Haiz, still thinking if should go out or not. Guess I'll go. Talked to Syidah yesterday and she said, it wont be fun if I did not go. I'm like, SERIOUSLY? o-o Hmmm, fine then. Woke up this morning early as usual hoping that YOU will come online. YOU never come online lately these days. Sighs. Avoiding me much? Sobs. Your promises, YOU broke them. NOT me. You said this, "As long as you dont stop talking to me" & "Okay im glad we shouldn't stop talking". Mhmmm, I REMEMBER THEM. :o BROKEN already I guess? Unless you're gonna give the same "I Had No Connection Reason Again"? Sighs. I just need answers now. :(

Life

2009-02-11T23:38:00.006+08:00

...has got to go on, regardless of what happens. It's gawd damn hard to turn that freaking page into a whole new chapter for me now. So hard to leave it all behind. So hard to "forget" about it. Each and every second meant somethings and time doesn't erase all those moments just like that. The only thing I can do now is to pretend that I am fine so that at least the people around me don't get all worried. I just hope this move won't be a mistake I will regret.

This is for you...
If you don't know, then ask me.
If you don't agree, then argue with me.
If you don't like, then say it to me.
But don't keep silent and judge me.

PS: I love to see my daily horoscopes. Not that I believe in horoscopes but I like to see how accurate they are for me. Without fail, my horoscopes has been literally perfect daily for the past 3 yrs. :o

Todays Horoscope: Don't let anxiety knock you out of balance today. Share your concerns with your loved one and then let them go. There's no point in wasting energy on things you can't change now.

Sneak Peak on tomorrow?: It's time for you to give up some old baggage -- it's not doing you any good, and you've certainly got the mojo to let go and get on with life now. If you just can't do it, talk things over with an old friend.

Since its been right for the past 3 years of my life... Imma have to let YOU go (I guess)...

Legs So Tired

2009-02-04T22:17:00.005+08:00

So, I went out yesterday and today. Yesterday first head to Orchard Area and walked. Intended to go for Job Interview... Turned out to be some crappy Agency. Had a detour. Haha. Then walked about with Shu Hui and she had to look for footwear. Haha. Kinda walked to and fro, back and forth. LOLS!!! Then headed down to Bugis. Wanted to get some DIY stuffs like beads, lace and stuffs. Walked all the way from Bugis up to Beach Road area. Once at the shop, realised it was closed. We were like 15mins late. WTF!!! SO far leh... Then headed BACK to Jurong. Seriously... tiring day.

Today went to Central. Shu Hui wanted to get Chocolate. hehe. Then found out that its sold out. LOLS!!! So... headed back to Lavender to get back to that DIY Shop. Found loads of interesting items. Spent time picking out tons of stuffs. When we left the shop after paying the items... We realised that we spent TWO HOURS THERE!!! Wow! Haha. Anyway, nice shop to explore. x) Then headed to Spotlight to get some cloth, cotton wool and other stuffs. So... looked through the tons of cloths. OMG, I feel in love with the Silver/Brownish cloth that she bought. Its so matching with the other Magenta Cloth we picked. Awesome-Possum!!! ANd the feel of it... *faints* SUPRA NICE TO TOUCH. After that, just headed home. And I collected my new specs. Haha. x) Nice but TIRING DAY...
BTW... I MISSED "YOU"... GAWD... TALK TO ME!!! OH CRAPP.

I Surrender

2009-01-31T13:15:00.003+08:00

Insecurities...the little things in life that grows and become fears and phobias over time. How do you handle them? Do you dare to take the big leap to conquer and get over them? Will they haunt you in future again? It is definitely not easy. For me, I do have trust issues. I do NOT trust a lot of people. Honestly, you can know me for a millions years and be my fucking best friend forever what not shit, I can still choose not to trust you. On the other hand, you can be a total sranger and on the 1st conversation I can trust you already. It's pretty wierd, but that comfort I need is what makes me feel comfortable and open up to you. I just need comfort and attention. :( But to those people who already have my trust... one word of caution, if you break it, then you have lost it forever. I found myself to be able to trust someone so so so much nowadays. I Surrender to you...

I Surrender- Celine Dion
There's so much life I've left to live
And this fire's burning still
When I watch you look at me
I think I could find the will
To stand for every dream
And forsake the solid ground
And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they ever knew
I'm in love with you

Cause I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it to
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender

I know I can't survive
Another night away from you
You're the reason I go on
And now I need to live the truth
Right now, there's no better time
From this fear I will break free
And I'll live again with love
And no the they can't take that away from me
And they will see...

Every nights getting longer
And this fire is getting stronger, babe
I'll swallow my pride and I'll be alive
Did you hear my call
I surrender all...

Cry Me River

2009-01-29T17:11:00.003+08:00

I started today with tears. You know who you are. I don't blame you though. It was good actually because everything got "settled" and I know how you feel now (just minus the tons of tissue boxes and the tears). It was sad tears all the way till...

I SAID: I mean come on... you know its literally impossible for this whole love thing to suceed. Maybe its just good if we just stay as very good friends that what she(A Friend) said.

YOU SAID: Okay i really don't get where this is coming from but whatever.

I SAID: You know what... lets not talk about this. it just makes me cry again and again.

YOU SAID: What the fuck! I don't know why anybody would say all that and then just be like okay nevermind. Obviously thats kinda a big deal. But if you're sure that's what you think is best then okay guess you're right whatever.

I SAID: no no no!!! I dont think its best. I know what I want and you know my POV. Thats what SHE said. Just a thought from a friend.

YOU SAID: Okay? Well personally I don't give a fuck what your friend has to say.

This made me cry tears of joy. Even though it seemed a little harsh at first but to think of it, it means a lot to me when you said it. It really shows how concern you are about me and doesn't bother what other people say about what's going on.I'm slowly starting to see a clear path ahead and I hope after this its happy days ahead :) <3 You.

Holidays Are Here

2009-01-28T09:21:00.005+08:00

So, yeah... Holidays are here. Kinda dreadfull cause I really missed school already. Now that there is no more school, so hard to blog. That's why its not been updated these days. Its funny cause you want holidays when you are schooling and when you are on holidays you to go to school. Anyway, I'm going to miss my W14C Class. So many things (good and bad) happened. I shall not go into details cause its too many to list. And I noticed that in EVERY class, there would probably be a few of those "odd ones" if you know what I mean. Like those that people always run away from and avoid or those that simply don't want to be a part of the class. Perhaps that is the new definition of a class. Haha. But sometimes, I feel bad for these people.

Today woke up at 3am and went online. To chat with someone. :P Man, Time difference around the world reeeaaallly sucks. Anyway, I couldn't stay up long... Got too tired and bumped back to bed after chatting for 1hr and you had to go too. But nice timing though. Woke up at 8am today. Still too used to the early wakeup times to go to school. Haha. I will need to readjust now that there's 3 months of holidays. Anyway, rotting at home ain't fun alright? But hehe, I've found alternative things to do these days while at home. Been really elated these days. You know who you are and what you do to me everyday. ^^ Musn't say so much. :P Later people bombard me with a ton of questions. Hahas. Change song also. Hearing tons of complains from people about the current song. Haha. Sureeee, will change. :P

Blind, Deaf And Traumatised

2009-01-22T20:55:00.002+08:00

Today...
My solo experience
Im still crying now :(

I've not been eating properly the past few days
I got no mood, no appetite
I was at JurongEast Interchange (A Train Station)
Waiting for MRT (Thats what we call a train in Singapore)

So an empty train came
So I ran in and sit
Immediately when I sit down
My whole body felt like it was shrinking
So BLOODY painful
Like the cells inside shrinking
Had troubles breathing

So...
I closed my eyes and endured the pain
My head started to go VERY dizzy
My ears can hear only ringing noises
I was TOTALLY freaking out

So, I tried to open my eyes
I can feel my eyes opening
but I cannot see anything
It was pitch black
Like when you close your eyes to sleep
I was in a dead/blind state
Like in a World Of My Own

I seriously thought I was going to die
But I was still awake
It really got me traumatised then
And my whole head was like going to burst
My body like shrinking from the inside
Pain was just so unbearable
I was like wanting to cry
Cause I SO scared that I cannot see a thing

But I cannot cry
Donno why
Then I said out loud in the train
Can anyone help me...
The lady beside me answered I think
But I cannot hear anything much
Damn scary

I was freaking out more by then
Then I knew i had to calm down
And soon enough I could hear a TINY bit of voice
But I cannot keep myself calm after that
I keep screaming and shouting
I cannot see I cannot see
I cannot hear I cannot hear

I panicked again
Screaming like nuts
Then the lady beside me pat on me and said to my ear
Are you alrite? Where are you alighting
I said Boon Lay interchange (A train station where I'm suppose to alight)

Then reached Boon Lay interchange
I can feel one whole bunch of people helping me to guide me out
I was literally blind
Cannot see a single THING
So they brought me to sit down
And then the train officials came to bring me down in a wheelchair
Cause I can feel I was being rolled

By then
I could see A tiny BIT
But all in greyish-black
Cant see colours
I was feaking out once again when I cannot see the colours
I thought I was going to be blind or colourless

Then I rested in this room
And soon, I was able to move my fingers again and ate something
But I begin to shake and tremble
The train officer wanted to call ambulance
I keep saying I dont want
Rested some more
At about 6pm(I THINK) I was able to walk slowly

I swear that was the MOST freakiest and traumatising day for my life
Im still crying like shit now
I feel so crappy now
Its cause Ive not been eating properly these days
No energy FOR BODY TO FUNCTION PROPERLY

I learn my lesson the HARD way
It will definitely take some time for me to get over this
And now im just thankful to be alive , able to see, hear and talk

Updates

2009-01-20T21:16:00.002+08:00

Not been updating for some time now. Cause, same old reason... Getting lazier. But tonight, nothing to do. =( So, spend some time on this post.

LAST THURSDAY
Was Enterprise Day. Grrrrrr. For Enterprise we did on NKF thingy. Its so annoying cause again we did PPT. I'm getting sick of PPT. I want to do mah jong paper presentations. =( But they went well.

LAST FRIDAY
Yikes! Friday was a pain. I was so sure I was going to stay in class throughout for Science. Cause my grades not that "pleasant" to MY eyes. xP Then topic was about some crap deformation. About how reliable the bridge was and need to do tons of calculations. I was going to like give 1/2 past work for the day. Then one of my friends wanted to leave class. Without him... I think the team would die. Cause the rest pretty much did not understood fully either xP So, I left after meeting 2 and skipped class. =( Got an F-Grade for the day. Yikes...

MONDAY
Communication Lesson! This is probably the BEST lesson of all lessons I had for this whole year. We had to create a GAME based on what we have learnt for the past 15 weeks on Communication. We had two teams. One with 6 people. And my team with 7 people. Hehe. That's WAY A LOT from the usual group of 5 maximum. Lol! We insisted to faci not to have more than 2 team. Hehe. ^^ Then both teams tried each others game. Wheee. fun!!!

TODAY
Cognitive Day today was a LITTLE tough in the beginning but managed to pull through x) Pretty much a summary of what we learnt for the previous 15 weeks also! :) Not bad arrr, except that we had some issues about the Hypothesis part. xP Faci explained and enlightened us. In the end. All went well. Oh yeah. And today ate loads of chocolate. Faci brought in 2 boxes for 3 teams to share. So, on Average... each person should take about 3-4 chocolates. Hmmm, some of us took more than that. xP We were busy eating them and giving opinions on which were better. Haha. So, I ate all 6 flavors. x( Opps. I need little self-control next time! xP But after trying all the flavours, everyone had one conclusion... The Chocolate with Cononut centered filing did NOT taste nice at all. Hehe. ^^

Thats about it. Now... I'm not coming to class tomorrow. Maths Grade is prefectly fine. :) So, I can sleep and rest. :) Thursday coming back to school. Not sure too sure about Friday though. xP Still deciding. :)

No School

2009-01-14T20:35:00.002+08:00

Today is Wednesday. Lesson was on Computing And Maths. I never go to school today. ^^ Mainly of 2 reasons. One was lazy. And two was that my Grades are "good enough". Yea, yea... people keep saying can be better. But I'll get an A for Maths already. 13 A's for Daily Grade and 1 B Grade. Not bad arr? xP UT oso okay-lah. Not THAT bad. So, today woke up slightly later than normal. Hehe. Got to sleep more. Ahhh. Such a pleasure.

However, since I never go school, had to rot at home. Never go out cause obviously friends all in school. Haha. But anyway, still had my one day rest/break from school. Tomorrow got UT. Last UT! Yeah! xP On Cognitive though (BIG HEADACHE!!!). I better go study.

Sick Again

2009-01-10T21:13:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling so sick and so weak now. Flu, Cough, Cold, Fever. All in one. Bleh. Got no mood for anything. Don't feel like eating. Don't even feel like getting out of bed. Sooo sick. So, just took laptop and stayed in bed. My nose is like Rudolph. Sooo red. Its like a red christmas ball decor item on the tree. o-o Monday school resumes. Arghs. MUST get well...

*Sigh, no mood to write a lot also...

Why Oh Why

2009-01-08T22:36:00.002+08:00

Today was Enterprise Lesson in class. I was expecting my normal Female Facilitator to come into class. But then, out the blue... This male Facilitator walks into class 30mins EARLIER. -.- At that time in time, only 4 of us in class liaos. 4 all stoned and in silence. -.- Then, at 9... that male Faci began teaching. OMG, his jokes are cold. Colder than the Artic. I could have collapsed and slept on the floor. Too tired and lesson just got more boring as time goes by. Then, w/s half-way done. Never really complete. Haha. But this is the "exciting" part. I already planned to skip class after that during the 2nd breakout. Then my whole team, one by one oso want to skip. Hahaha. So, then had to wait for LYNETTE for her to finish her talk. -.- So, we waited in class and slacked while the rest were busy with powerpoint presention later. Wait... wait... wait... And guess what... at 1.30pm, Faci walked in. WTF! We could not escape already. Darn. We had 1 hour left to rush through PPT. Oh gosh. To make things worse, we had to present first. Wo-ah. SO stressfull. Anyway, the fact that I am still here only means that I survived this horrifying day.

Also, 3 days have passed. Went to check my Daily Grades. WHeeee. Did very well. 3 DG A's. :) If I get another A for today... *faints*. Haha. But you'll never know. :) Watch and learn... xP

Back To School

2009-01-05T18:35:00.004+08:00

Today was Jill's Birthday. Happy BDay girl. :) Other than that, it was back to school for at least another 3 weeks. Well, 3 weeks does seem like a long time. But eventually, it will pass by quickly. Just like when I still remember my 1st day in RP. No, not the wrong class orientation day!!! -.- The first day when classes officially started. Everyone in that class was like ohhhh... we are going to waste 1 year doing crappy subjects and modules. Thinking back, 1 year already passed. In fact we have all split up and went into different classes last semester. Oh, how I miss my old class... Didn't time pass fast? :o Well, I am certainly not looking forward to the next 3 weeks of schooling. I got no mood to study. :( I'm actually looking for the 2 months+? break AFTER the 3 weeks of schooling. Haha. Wheeeeee. Gimme the breaks!!! xP

Today's Lesson was on Communication. I thought it was going to be something fun and would be a good start to kick in the New Year and the upcoming 3 weeks of school. Guess what? Today's topic was on Proposal Writing. OMG!!! If there is one thing I hate doing... it definitely is all these writing stuff. Letter Writing, Proposal Writing... all these crap things. o.o On the bright side... 2 more lessons of Communication to endure. Haha. Well, tomorrow is Cognitive Day. I wonder if we are changing teams. Haha. I'm looking forward to tomorrow I guess.

Lastly, I'm kinda upset today. By people who contradict themselves and lie SO much. First you say..... (Issue A) and you said you hated when (Issue A) happens. And today... it seems like you are doing the same thing(Issue A). I thought we saw eye to eye on this issue. Apparently NOT. I just hope people nowadays will just learn how to express themselves as who they really are. Cut the act man... You don't to pretend to be "someone else" for whatever reason it is... At least that was what I learn from my past and I took a hard fall to realise it. Learn to be yourself and embrace that. Someone, somewhere, at some corner will cherish and treasure you for who you are. It may be hard but I hope you will "find your way back" and not take the hard fall like I did...

The Holidays

2009-01-04T01:02:00.003+08:00

I know I have not been posting for the past month or so, during the holiday breaks. I guess I was doing a lot of reflection on the past year and myself. No, don't laugh. I AM SERIOUS ON THIS. Looking back over the past 16 years, I realised one big thing. I am NEVER satisfied with anything. Perhaps it is because I look for long-term satisfaction rather than those small, sweet moments that many people cherish. I don't know why I am not able to remember these moments honestly. Ask me what I remember about January till June last year? Hmm, the 1st strikes to my mind would be O'Level Results and Poly Registration. This is a BIG THING. What can't I remember? Those small memorable things as usual. I had to go date by date to rethink what happened. So this are the things that never came across my mind at that of time(those nitty gritty small moments).

1. Shu Hui pestering me to make a decision to go RP or MI.
2. Forget to bring charger for laptop configuration. (So Stupid)
3. Went into wrong class on Day 1.
That all I can recall. Pathetic ain't it? x(

Secondly, I realised how many people can just come and go in my life. People who keep on saying they will be there when I needed them. People who said that I will not walk the path alone. People who tried to make me feel as though they were concern. You have indeed earned my trust for the period of time. But time after time, each and every single one of YOU have lost it eventually. There WERE times when I needed someone to be there and no one cared. No one bothered. No one fulfilled what they promised. So my new years resolution... Learn to trust yourself more. Be more dependent and strong. Don't rely so much on others. But, I have to make an exeption to those people who weren't really aware of what I was going through. Don't I? :) So I am not blaming everyone afterall. Maybe only those few liars that made the whole situation seem so bad. Afterall, the problems are more in-depth than anyone can ever handle including myself.

This year... I WANT more respect, I DESERVE more happiness and NEED more acceptance. Respect specifically from my family. Happiness from each and everyone of you and finally acceptance from my close ones. I am sick of stepping of out of the door everyday with a mask embedded on this face and pretending everything will go alright when the cold hard fact is that nothing is going right. I am tired of being Mr Nice and Mr Helpful when I cannot even help myself. I need to have people that can look up at me and be appreciative of what I have done. It's just a SIMPLE "THANK YOU" I am asking for. So, the Year 2009 is the year I put MYSELF above others. The Year I settle my own issues. If you want to help me, then gear up for it. Cause I don't need people to settle issues on the surface only. I need people who are willing to go in-depth and settle my issues once and for all. Do you know how much THAT would mean to me.

Well, it means the world to me. =/

This Made My Weekend

2008-11-30T23:00:00.002+08:00

Saturday went to Bedok and shop. Then went over to grandma's place in Tampines. Not much except that I ate SO SO SO much that day. I could barely sleep with that extra full stomach. Sunday not much. Till I received this song link by Katy Perry. This made my weekend. Laugh Out Loud at the lyrics. x)

YOU'RE SO GAY- Katy Perry
I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don't eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You're so indie rock it's almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

[CHORUS]
You're so gay and you don't even like boys
No you don't even like
No you don't even like
No you don't even like boys
You're so gay and you don't even like boys
No you don't even like
No you don't even like
No you don't even like...

You're so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You're so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you're so amused
That nobody understands you
I'm so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I'm so angry cause you'd rather MySpace instead
I can't believe I fell in love with someone that wears more makeup than...

[CHORUS]
You're so gay and you don't even like boys
No you don't even like
No you don't even like
No you don't even like boys
You're so gay and you don't even like boys
No you don't even like
No you don't even like
No you don't even like...

You walk around like you're oh so debonair
You pull 'em down and there's really nothing there
I wish you would just be real with me

*To Nick: You want a change of song? That that. :p Haha!

The Voice Within

2008-11-25T22:10:00.003+08:00

Today... Very Moody Me. x( No mood to do RJ. No mood to eat. No mood to go out. No mood to study for tomorrow's UT. No mood for anything. Haix. Don't wish to sleep also. Let's see how long I can stay awake tonight. Sadly, tomorrow VB And Maths. Need to focus one. Die for sure. My brain half-dead. My mind half-missing. Nevermind, persevere! Persist On!

When youre safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothings harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
Its so hard to stand your ground when youre so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you look outside look inside to your soul

When theres no one else, look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend just trust the voice within
Then youll find the strength that will guide your way
Youll learn to begin to trust the voice within

And... It cuts so deep,it hurts down to my soul. My friends tell me,I ain't the same no more. Really? If so, I'm doomed.

Society Or Self

2008-11-24T23:43:00.003+08:00

My oh my. Nothing Much happened today. Hmm, that may be a lie. Hehe. x) Anyway, my mind is still drifting elsewhere today. Don't really know what's bothering me. Maybe just to post a question. What would you do? Please the society and follow the social norms? Or please yourself. 2 Choices here. If you go with society, you will probably personally suffer but will survive in public. And if you follow and please yourself, you will get outcasted but personally happy with yourself. If you had to choose one, what would it be? "Acceptance and no Personal Satisfaction"(Go wif what Society says) or "Personal Satisfaction and no Acceptance"(Satisfy what you believe in but be outcasted)? Which one can YOU live with? Tag Me. x(

Mind Drift

2008-11-23T22:45:00.003+08:00

Weeeeeee. x) Today... Mind not stable. I am a super blur person today. God knows why. My mind has been drifting to places today. I spent the whole afternoon today staring in front of the TV from my bed. At 6pm, I realised I was not really watching TV. I was daydreaming and wandering since 3pm. >.< I CANNOT remember what were the shows and I pretty much wasted electricity. x) Haha. Then at night, YS msn me. Played some games. Started with Hexic and I got no mood to play. x( Then changed to Minesweeper and I lost like 7 out of 7 games payed. OMG! How can I lose 7 games of Minesweeper. x( Then lastly played that Quarto Game. Played 2 times and lost all 2 games. Haix. Mind really floating somewhere. x( Come back before tomorrow lessons begin, please. x(

Mean

2008-11-20T20:25:00.003+08:00

Today in class... It went very fine at first. And then something "bad" happened. It is probably my fault. I do not understand why I must be so MEAN. This is not the first time. Probably the million'th time I've been mean. I already lost 4 good friends before because of my stubborness and how mean I can be at times. Why am I so mean at times? It only brings temporary satisfaction and happiness for me. But I've realised its selfish. Can someone please be honest and tell me why? =( I'ld appreciate friends that tell me the blunt truth rather than one keeping it quiet so that I won't get hurt. Gargh, but today was a lucky day. Nothing bad happened afterwards. I began to realise all of these and how fucking mean I can be at times. I don't want to loose more friends. It's just not the way I want things to go. I have made some very nice and good friends. Sorry to those whom I have been mean before. I know especially to Syidah. 2 years(maybe more?) of tolerating my nonsense and those mean times I disturb you everytime. Sorry ahh? Haha. :P And also Nick. You've been through the most times I suppose. I know I can be a stubborn asshole at times. Now,I got to understand myself better. =(

PINK-Mean
You used to hold the door for me, now you can't wait to leave
You used to send me flowers if you fucked up in my dreams
I used to make you laugh with all the silly shit I did
But now you roll your eyes and walk away and shake your head

When the spark has gone, and the candles are out
When the song is done and there's no more sound
Whispers turn to yellin and I'm thinkin

How do we get so mean?
How do we just move on?
How do you feel in the morning when it comes and everything's undone?
Is it cause we wanna be free? Well that's not me
Normally I'm so strong
I just can't wake up on the floor like a thousand times before
Knowing that forever won't be

Always sentimental when I think of how it was
When love was sweet and new and we just couldn't get enough
The shower, it reminds me you'd undress me with your eyes
And now you never touch me and you tell me that you're tired

You know, I get so sad when it all goes bad
And all you think about is all the fun you had
And all those sorries ain't never gonna mean a thing, oh

How did we get so mean?
How do we just move on?
How do you feel in the morning when it comes and everything's undone?
Is it cause we wanna be free? Well that's not me
Normally I'm so strong
I just can't wake up on the floor like a thousand times before
Knowing that forever won't be

Oh, we said some things that we can never take back
It's like a train wreck tryna hit the right track
We opened up the wine and we just let it breathe,
But we shoulda drank it down while it was still sweet
It all goes bad eventually

Now do we stay together cause we're scared to be alone?
We got so used to this abuse, it kind of feels like home
But, my baby, I just really wanna know, oh,

How do we get so mean?
How do we just move on?
How do you feel in the morning when it comes and everything's undone?
Is it cause we wanna be free? Well that's not me
Normally I'm so strong
I just can't wake up on the floor like a thousand times before
Knowing that forever won't be

SoDreadful...

2008-11-15T21:16:00.002+08:00

Today was a pretty much BAD DAY. Went to update my passport early morning cause travelling out of Singapore in a few weeks time and the last day of school going out of Singapore again to god knows where... Anywhere, had to endure those dreadful long queues. Sighs. After that, went to walk around Bugis. Went to see 101 tailoring shops. Haha. Saw a lot of cool, nitty-gritty stuffs. From wierd looking buttons to laces to everthing I would need to make Art Stuff. Haha. But didn't buy anything. Just looked around. Anyway, when I reached home... I went to wash my current wallet. Its filthy. :p Haha. So, I decided to use my old White Leather Marc Jacobs Wallet. But then, I noticed it has Blue Jean Stains. So, I took some warm water and rubbed it off with it. Then it spread a lot more. :( Aiyooo. I don't know what happened. Then rubbed even more and the leather started peeling off. OMG. No......... -cries- Now, my wallet is like one coat lesser. :( I need to fix it somehow... =(

Ego

2008-11-14T19:30:00.000+08:00

It's on
Baby lets get lost
You don't need
To call into work
Cuz you're the boss

For real want you
To show me how you feel
I consider myself
Lucky that's a big deal

Why well?
You got the key to my heart
But you aint gonna need it
I'd rather you open up my body
And show me secrets
You didn't know was inside
No need for me to lie

Usually I'm humble
Right now I don't choose

You can leave with me
Or you could have the blues

Some call it arrogant
I call it confidant

You decide when you find
On what I'm working with

Damn I know,
I'm killing you with them legs
Better yet them thighs
Matter a fact it's my smile
Or maybe my eyes
Boy you a site to see
Kind of something like me

It's too big
It's too wide
It's too strong
It wont fit

It's too much
It's too tough
I talk like this
Cuz I can back it up

I got a big ego...
Such a huge ego...
But he love my big ego...

It's too much
I walk like this
Cuz I can back it up
I, I walk like this

Ego so big
You must admit
I got every reason
To feel like I'm that bitch
Ego so strong
If you aint know
I don't need no beat
I can sing it with piano

Madagascar 2

2008-11-13T21:28:00.002+08:00

Whee. Today skipped class half-way. Damn Toughlah Science today... Quite a number of people left today. I salute those who stayed till Meeting 3. Haha. Then left for Causeway Point with Vit,Yoges and Gen. Was going to watch Madagascar 2. On the way there... Yoges changed her mind. SHe left for home instead at the MRT. But then, Lynette called from class and said she, YS and Clarence want to come. Haha. That's plus 3 more people. :) lols. Then when about the buy the tickets... Gen wanted to go home. So minus one person. Now, left with 5. Went in and watched and there were SO SO SO SO SO many advertisement on WATCHES. I mean whats with all the watch advertisement? -.- Then the show started with some "past memories" while those zoo animals were still babies. OMG. Alex was so cute as a cub while he was young. :p Haha. The show was nice. Sufficiently fun :) Lols. Then went to eat at Burger King and went home. Wheee. =) I wanna catch some sleep now. Hahas. Nites.

Happy Bdae She Duh

2008-11-11T23:53:00.002+08:00

Hmmm, last few minutes. Final B'day Greetings to the B'dae gurl. Class was fine today. As usual. People saying want to skip class but in the end all never skip one. It's always easier said than done. :p haha. Went to Bishan and meet Nana and Syidah. Went to eat at pizza hut. My wallet is dry now. Lols. Then walk-walk around and went in circles aimlessly. As Usual. Lol >.< Then went home with Nana and visit Shu Hui and gave a boo-ya surprise at the door. Haha. Then Nana gave a BELATED B'Day Gift. Lols. The Mum was puzzled. ROFLMAO. Haha. Then went home, did RJ and chat wif people on MSN. Now, Im turning to bed. Roller Coaster Ride today. Im thinking of not going to skool tomorrow but I will feel guilty cause I pestered someone to come. Sighs. I guess i should go. No idea. Depends on tomorrow's mood. haha. Im tired. Out!

Horoscopes?

2008-11-11T00:59:00.002+08:00

Ahhh. 1am now. Nothing to do. Can't sleep. Been talking to Lynette to keep both of us entertained. Haha. And busy reading up on Horoscopes. Haha. I do not believe in them. I'm just having fun and seeing how accurate they can be. Apparently, they are FREAKING accurate as of now. Woah!. Some facts about Librarians(thats me)! Lols

Libra (THE SCALES)- The Sign Of Balance

Natural justice and the knowledge that the universe runs smoothly when there is balance is at the heart of the Libran persona. However, to get everything just right takes a certain amount of adjustment and effort. Libras are known for their ability to consider both sides and to bring together warring factions, since in Libra land the world is fully of happy contended people. Librans are liable to to adopt whatever approach is necessary to find that balance and can resort to some quite ruthless tactics at times. Think, 'iron hand in a velvet glove', to create harmony.
-Don't really understand the part above. But heck care. :p

*Romance
Off and on relationships is bad for Libra's. Libra's do not like to make waves. Partners need to get Libra's to talk and speak up. When Libra's don't speak they're either hurt badly or angry. If you constantly ridicule a Libra this will cause them to become distant and defensive. But if the relationship pulls through, it will be long lasting and rewarding.
-I totally agree on the "don't speak" part. Haha!

*Ideal Careers
Barrister, judge, diplomat, designer, beautician, interior decorator, designer, anything in personnel.
-Uhhh! Designer. :p Whoo-Hoo!

*No. 1 Weakness
Getting jealous.
-Gawd. That's pretty much true for me. -.-

*Best At?
Libra is easy going, charming and pleasant, and will work hard at relationships, since relating is the key motivation for this sign. Consequently, Librans instinctively know how to be good hosts and put others at their ease. Chances are they will have more than the usual amount of knowledge about the arts, current affairs and politics, and will be the oil that sociability glides on. Compromise comes much easier than making a firm decision.

*Compatible With
Aquarius/Gemini/Aries

*Not Compatible With
Capricorn/Cancer/Virgo

Funhouse

2008-11-10T00:07:00.002+08:00

Funhouse. The title of P!nk's New Album. Spent the last 3 weeks looking for that CD at all sorts of outlets. No Luck. Oh god. Is history going to repeat itself? I did not get a chance to buy P!nk's other CD in 2003. I don't want to miss out on this one. Heard the songs on youtube and imeem. Oh god. Loved It! So RNB and less rock this time. Haha. Favourites were 'So What' and 'Bad Influence' and 'It's All Your Fault'. I can really relate to these songs at this moment. Thats why. Haha. Both for the good and bad reasons. Haha. And changed song to 'It's All Your Fault'. Just wanted to express some things out(not blaming people though). I wish things would be MORE CLEARER man. Show me the light and give me an answer. :) Anyway, forget to say I was greeted by another packed today morning. Haha! A package from a very, very, very OLD friend Nicole. Whee. You make me SO VERY happy. :) Sent me P!nk's other CD yeah? How thoughtfull :) Now, one last CD Album to track down... Anyone wif me? Lols. :)

PINK-It's All Your Fault

I conjure up the thought of being gone
But I'd probably even do that wrong
I try to think about which way
Would I be able to and would I be afraid

Cause oh I'm bleeding out inside
Oh I don't even mind

(Yeah)It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not fair

I'm trying to figure out what else to say
To make you turn around and come back this way
I feel like we could be really awesome together
So make up your mind cause it's now or never

(Oh)It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold my breath
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air
And it's not fair

I would never pull the trigger
But I've cried wolf a thousand times
I wish you could
Feel as bad as I do
I have lost my mind

It's all your fault
You called me beautiful
You turned me out
And now I can't turn back
I hold (I hold) My breath (My breath)
Because you were perfect
But I'm running out of air (Running out of air)
And it's not fair

2 Busy Days

2008-11-05T08:30:00.003+08:00

Title says it all. Been real busy these 2 days. Monday was the start of school again after a simple one-week break. I'm really wanting more breaks. I'm just so tired and my sleeping time has been greatly reduced and affected. I'm feeling sick and not right to go to school. Getting a drag to go to school. Monday was okay-ish. Had group quarrels and a mini class argument. But I loved the whole day with the different approach for Meeting 3. We did our presentations gallery style. Muahahaha :p Loved-It! Anyway, after 8 weeks of Cognitive Lessons, I FINALLY got an A-Grade. Gawd. Took me long enough. The Faci needs to be more willing to give more A's. Lols. That aside, I got my VERY FIRST D Grade. Holy Cheese On Whiskers (dont mind that- randomness) Can you beleive it? Me Very 1st D-Grade. But that was 2 weeks ago. Just never updated it! Lols. Tuesday was.. Enterprise. It was okay-ish also lah. Researched about hotels and was given Gallery Hotel for a case study. That place is UBER COOL! Take a look at the photos below. Uhhh. Lovely! Such great designed rooms. :) Price should also be a "wonder". Lols. Then after class, stayed back and googled to research on SEVEN STAR HOTELS. Yeah! I didn't even know they existed. I thought it was only untill 5. Haha. Got 6 & 7 Stars also. The one famous hotel at Dubai was jaw-dropping. I look at a video of it and wow! Everyone was luxurious. A Swimming Pool INSIDE the room. Lols! Wow! Wow! Wow! -Is Speechless- Haha. Adds in one more wish onto my dream list. Haha. One day, I will step into that place hopefully. haha. :)

Hush Hush

2008-11-01T14:04:00.002+08:00

I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs
I never needed pain, I never needed strain
My love for you is strong enough you should have known

I never needed you for judgment
I never needed you to question what I spend
I never ask for help, I take care of myself
I dont why you think you got a hold on me

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how I act to what I say
I never needed words, I never needed hurts
I never needed you to be there everyday

I'm sorry for the way I let go
From everything I wanted when you came along
But I am never beaten, broken not defeated
I know next to you is not where I belong

And its a little late for conversa-tions
There isnt anything for you to say
And its a little late for explanations
There isnt anything that you can do
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver
So look at me and listen to me

Because
I dont want to, stay another minute
I dont want you, to say a single word
Hush hush Hush hush
There is no other way, I get the final say

Because
I dont want to, do this any longer
I dont want you, theres nothing left to say
Hush hush Hush hush
Ive already spoken, our love is broken

Baby hush hush hush hush

New Visitor

2008-10-29T23:31:00.004+08:00

Hi! Laptop fixed. Whee. Getting it back tomorrow =) Hmmm, got a call 5mins ago! From Nick. Muahaha. He came to Singapore and just landed at Changi Airport. Wheee, you make me one HAPPY person. :p But, I'm PRETTY JEALOUS NOW cause SOME people just can don't bother going to school when they are SUPPOSED to on a NORMAL SCHOOL DAY and seek money from parents to travel to other countries. o.o Haha. Can't meet him today since its like 11pm here when he landed. :p No idea where he is going next. Haha. Only know he came with Lyn (his elder sister). I guess I'm going out tomorrow with them. LONG time never meet ya guys. :p lol! I'm tired. I guess I shall sleep early today :p Big Day tomorrow. Haha. Nites, I'm out...

*Oh yeah, my links are going nuts. Got to fix the codes soon. :p

Bonkers

2008-10-26T19:04:00.002+08:00

It went bonkers. This time was worse. This time it wouldn't even work. This time gave me more problem. This time pushed me on the edge of death and boredom. This time let my heads burst with fury. This time my fingers pressed the buttons even more furiously. This time really angered me. All because of the freaking laptop. That thing knows VERY WELL i can barely make it alive one day without it. Now, it failed me. God knows what happened but that thing wont let me sign into my account. My laptop is being a REAL nuisance this time. Kept showing errors when i tried to sign in. Now, im dying without my internet. Luckily my sister went to market now. Got A BIT of internet before she comes back. :p I guess i better go now before she comes back. Haha. :p Going to skool back tomorrow to fix this damn thing. Haix! What a day to begin this one week holidays. Sighs... Going back to TV. All all the shoes being showed have been watched last year :( BORING... The media station needs to look into those shows theya re showing. So outdated. No choice though other than sleeping the whole day. :p Blargh. gtg...

I Can't Emphasise This Any Further

2008-10-25T13:24:00.002+08:00

LIFE IS UNFAIR. All I wanted is a LONG REST and this morning I woke up with my whole family screaming at 12+pm. I was still so sleepy. It's always those freaking, annoying hamsters. God I wish they were taken away! They gave birth AGAIN! I mean, come on. They are ANIMALS! They don't know when to "stop". Seperate the male from female rite? Aiyaaa, my family kept insisting why: Let them be TOGETHER as a happy family! I'm like gawd! They will breed like bacteria! And everyone in my house so scared to touch and hold the hamster. >.< I don't dare hold them oso. They look like those sewer rats in disguise. EWWWWW. GROSS! Its better off sold or given to someone. I'm so fustrated at my little brother. He got like hamsters and tortoises! I got nothing. And come on lah. He never even take care of them. We need to SCREAM at him everyday to remind him to change the water for tortoise and to keep the hamster cages clean! God. He needs to be more responsible. x.x I think I am WAY more responsible than that guy and all I want is a white cat. Goddamit. Life is unfair. =(

Break Is Here

2008-10-24T20:40:00.003+08:00

Whee. Friday today. Had SO MUCH FUN! Did not do the normal boring ppt. Did mahjong paper presentation. When the Facilitator said that i was like the only idiot in class who said "YES!!!" with my fists clenched. ROFLMAO! At least I was happy. To come to think of it, for me... It was a great way to end this week :p SOmething FUN! Wheee. Anyway. This semester did 2 MahJong Paper Presentations before. Got some photos of them. Did not take last semester's MahJong Paper Presentation Image. haix. Anyway... The 1st image is the one on Cognitive :p Topic about Paradoxes. ROFL. Confusing :p And... 2nd one was today's about Language. So you see that huge red lips in the center. :p Took 2 ppl to colour the whole thing. And we had to work with limited colours today :( Either way pulled through as it was esthetically(sp?) pleasing! Can't wait to REST the whole of next week before the school resumes! :)

Artsy Crazy

2008-10-23T22:45:00.002+08:00

Hmm so, the past one week has been crazy. Had nice "UP MOMENTS" and some "TMTH MONENTS". *TMTH: Too Much To Handle. ROFL.

Last Sat and Sund: Can't really remember what happened. But I knew I had a GOOD BREAK :p Skipped Friday Class (Communication) halfway. Cause simply can't be bothered and really wanted and early weekend. Haha. But then, when results got released on Monday or so... I got a D Grade. I mean... Holy cheese on whiskers! My first EVER D-Grade. Some people proud of me... Others disappointed. Haha. What a mix response.

Monday: Hmm, it was Cognitive that day. Did debate on Science And Technology. I was supposed to do the conclusion(last speaker). I pretty much screw it all. Did not have time to finish my part due to time limit. Simply cause I lost track of what to say all of a sudden. Can't retrace back and got stuck. I was like "erms"..."erms"..."erms"... Thats pretty much every Debater's Nightmare :(

Tuesday: Enterprise Day. Problem Statement about "GO BRITNEY!" About financing some concert stuff and pricing issues. Pretty much had a good day. I love Enterprise Team. haha. :p Its fun (but sometimes irritating). Points at one of my classmates. *Coughs* But that day he nevr came. :p Haha. Still had fun. :p With Miss Alien and Jill. 3 ppl in a team. hehe.

Wednesday: Maths And Computing was easy that day. Easy Peasy. However... *coughs* someone made it difficult. Someone was being too sticky that day. :p Anyway, Maths was all about going Back To Basics. About Algebra Simultaneous Equations. just that they use programmes and softwares and many shapes and symbols to make things complicated. Haha.

Today: Science Lesson. Biology today. Changed teams today :o So sudden! So random. So annoyed. I was like so looking forward with my old team. Prepared and happy to start lesson. Then faci came and said this are your new teams. Then... -jaws dropped- Anyway, just live with it I guess and todays team was not that bad either. Got through today smoothly =) And something else even crazier went happen today :p Too crazy to mention. *coughs* Haha :p But that made my day today :p *winks* Im off to do RJ and school stuff. Tatas People.

If's...

2008-10-17T17:04:00.002+08:00

If you were a boy
Even just for a day
You’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what you wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
You’d kick it with who you wanted
And you’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for you

I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone that its broken
So they think
That I was sleeping alone

I should put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause you know that I’ll be faithful
Waiting for you to come home

If you were a boy
I think that you could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man

You’d listen to her
Cause then you know how it hurts
When you loose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken him for granted
And everything you had got destroyed!

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But your just a girl
You don’t understand
How it feels to love a boy
Someday I’ll wish I were a better man
But I am just a boy…

Fustration

2008-10-16T20:29:00.002+08:00

Ahhhh. I'm all fustrated today. Simply because that freaking Design Competition was cancelled. =.= WTF! Arghhh. There was a mass mail sent stating that competition was cancelled today. I'm still freaking irritated. Damn RP students lah. SO not supportive! Only 1 response to the competition, and that my team. Garghs. I think Priya and Jill all oso fustrated. We had Maths yesterday and did some stuff with toothpick. AFter class, I went to collect all the toothpicks from every group since Facilitator don't want it anymore. Then I was like thinking that we can use the toothpicks to make an umbrella for the competition also. Fits in the Victorian Dress Theme. So, during break we went down to buy White Glue and Jill was happily glueing all the toothpicks together making long sticks for the umberella. She's prolly pissed off now that the competition was cancelled. And I did that freaking newspaper corset 2 days ago. Aiyooo. Now cancelled. Walau! So irritating. Im off now. Got to relax and chill...

New Layout

2008-10-14T21:34:00.002+08:00

Nothing to do today. And today was Enterprise. Today's team was CRAZY. Joel was being irritating as usual. >.< Wait, I was being irritating too. :p Talked a lot of crappy stuff today during class but still got the work done in the end. :p Good Day today. :p Anyway, RP has got this recycling challenge coming soon. Its to use recycling materials to create a fashionable outfit. Im SO JOINING this competition. Finally... My talents will be realised *cough* ROFL. :p ANyway, Im teaming with Jill and Priya. Got A LOT of ideas already :p Im just hoping that more people would sign up for this competition. SO far... 0 people responded to the competition. Ill prolly go sign up and respond tomorrow afternoon. :p Oh yeah, and new layout. I keep wanting to change them. :p Im too tired already from coding all the CSS and HTML. :x Ill update the "missing sections" tomorrow in class i suppose. :p Wakakaka. Well, im off now. Got to do REFLECTION JOURNAL for today. :p RJ is getting boring... Sighs...

Lazy Not Busy

2008-10-09T21:36:00.003+08:00

Not been updating for a long time. Everytime I finish school I always have intentions to update my blog once I reached home. But once I reach home, too lazy to do it. Lols. Anyway, 17th Birthday... nothing special went on at home. As usual, 16years of birthdays went by like normal days. So, I was not expecting much for my 17th B'day. Thinking back over the past 17 years... I only had a party ONCE for my B'day. That was when I was like 1Yr Old? o_0 I SO don't remember it. I only had ONE photo of me lying down on that table beside the cake. o_0 Don't ask me what's up with me on the table. I was 1yr old. God knows what i was doing. I can't remember. That aside, still thanks to everyone who wished me a good 17th year ahead. :p Like syidah said...1 year older means 1 year lesser to live (1year nearer to death :P) So, my question is... What's with the birhdays? What's the significance knowing that you are 1year closer yo death? lols. Anyway. That's all. And MS spammed me over 50+ E-Mails cause I refused to do some crap quiz he insisted. Got irritated by the daily spams... so i just did it. MS, pls stop it or I'm going to tell your sis. :p She's gonna kill you if she knows you've been "disturbing" me. ROFLMAO. :p

1. At what age do you wish to marry?
My favourite phrase: "Time Will Tell"

2. What you want the most now?
Happiness and Company

3. Who is the person you trust the most?
In the past, I would always say: Me, Myself And I. Now, I guess its Me, Myself, I and Nick :p

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
Yeah. Enough to get me through this year at least.

5. What do you think about dreams?
Dreams? Now, now... When was the last dream that I remembered? Ages ago? o_0

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
That's what the always teach us in school. But you never know what you may find at the end of one. xD

7. What is your goal for this year?
Have enough patience and confidence to survive and get through this year. Life has its worse ups and downs this year... SIghs.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
Urghs. Don't talk about love. x.x

9. If you’re allowed to change a thing, just 1 thing in your life, what would it be?
Ahhh. The idea of perfection. In fact, I believe perfection don't exist. However, there ARE things I wish I could change but will NEVER change. Ahahaha (secret. only nick noes :p) You didn't think I would say it that simply rite? Hahaha. x)

10. What feeling do you love the most?
Being loved? o_0 Who doesn't?

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
What kind of a qn is this? o_0 So NOT answering this...

12. What feeling do you hate the most?
Insecurities. (Yea, I may not show it but I do feel insecure 90% of the time) I'm just an expert at hiding things. :p

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Some of my friendships are "FAKED"? So, not every friendship I hold is sincere. Sometimes in life, you have to "make use" of people to get to where you want to be. That's just how you can survive at times. But if I've known you for a long time, rest assured that I do treasure our friendship =)

14. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Again, not answering any questions on love...

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Companion. Seriously, I would die if one day, my friends all went missing.

16. Who do you hope to be always there for you?
Erms.. Someone *coughs*

17. Who’s your best friend(s).
Nick? o_0 How obvious can that be?

18. Who cares for you the most?
Me, myself and I. Any of YOU want to be added in here? :p

19. Which date you like the most?
For the 3rd time... Not answering this. :p

20. What is the one object you may have difficulty living without it?
Erms. I'm not too sure... My Straightening Irons? o_0 I iron flat my hair EVERYDAY(even when i'll be at home on Sundays). :p Have an obsession. I don't like my wavy hair. =( I want back my straight childhood hair. =(

If you are reading this, feel free to continue and do it. I dont have any specific person to tag to do this quiz. :p Do it at your own will :p

CopyCat

2008-10-01T00:31:00.002+08:00

Ahhh. Nothing to update these days. Fasting over already. Wee-Hee! I think i lost like 4kg? -cries- i need more fats. Im like shivering and shaking like "popcorn" in class cause the aircon so cold.. Anyway... nothing much other than that. And just for fun... Something VERY RANDOM...

COPYCAT!!!

Say NO To Cognitive. It Kills.

2008-09-19T23:35:00.003+08:00

Today was Cognitive and how I hate it. I remember last Semester... The first time I skipped class half-way was during Cognitive lessons. I just don't know what it is about Cognitive that bores me to the extreme. Maybe its the kind of problems statements they ask? Or the faci's? Or simply the concept of the subject... Whatever it is, I just hate Cognitive. Big Time. SUCKS... I mean who the hell likes Cognitive? Stay FAR away from me if you like it. It's like "Urgh". =.= All those abstract questions about "the truth", "some crap laws" and all that big conceptual things that exist in the world. Ahhh... thanks to those mad geniuses that create these 1001 laws and theories. x.x Ahhh. I give up COgnitive this Semeseter. Its kills too much of my brain cells. I'ld rather focus on other interesting subjects like Maths or Science or Communications. This topic is way out of hand for me.